CineVibez Fanzine #19

Classified Cinema Vibez No. 1

Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe. You’re probably expecting the Archie’s today, but - I dunno - I guess I lost interest. Instead, we’re about to embark on a multi-issue journey through the stars! That’s right, the CineVibez Fanzine Summer Series: Classified Cinema officially begins today.

All summer long, we’re flying through a cinematic black hole, honoring obscure cult movies depicting interplanetary travel, UFOs, alien abductions, and so much more! As an added bonus, we’ll dig into the real-life experiences that inspired many of the films included in this series. Now go get your spacesuit … it’s time to rip the lid off Classified Cinema!

But Why Classified Cinema?

Aliens and their crafts are subjects near and dear to me, having first entered my orbit in the early 90s. I found my dad’s blank VHS tape stash (more on that later) and immediately popped one into the VCR. For the next 105 minutes, I sat in awe of Phillipe Mora’s Communion (1989), a movie about an alien abduction that adapts Whitley Strieber’s non-fiction book with the same name.

Yep, that’s right - I said non-fiction. Strieber claims the alien abduction actually took place. I’d believe him more if he wasn’t famous for writing fiction like The Hunger, 2012, and Wolfen (paging L. Ron Hubbard). My best guess is Strieber exaggerated a wild dream, although his story shares interesting similarities to other abduction stories, going all the way back to ancient times. Things like lost time, brain damage, headaches, mental & physical trauma, damage to electronics, telepathy, and descriptions of the visitors themselves.

A recent Communion rewatch confirmed its bonkers out of the gate. We watch Christopher Walken, who plays Strieber, struggle to overcome writer’s block in the opening sequence. But it plays out like an unaired Continental skit from SNL. He’s slapping computer screens, speaking in tongues, and randomly screaming “COME ON!” at his keyboard. It’s literally 35 minutes of Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken.

The movie gets interesting when we see a bunch of little blue Ewoks with elephant snouts march into Walken’s bedroom. What follows plays out like a normal, sensical UFO abduction story … until the ending. At the end, Walken returns to the spaceship to dance with the aliens (see above). Yes, the film concludes with a dance-off between Walken and multiple alien races; it’s like a way to cope with the trauma the experience caused, or something like that. I’m honestly a little frustrated that this one didn’t make Dancin’ Vibez. But anywho, let’s put a pin in Communion for now. We’re going to explore a different movie about alien abductions today: Xtro.

An Xtro-Ordinary Film:

Xtro, a low-budget ($500,000) British “video nasty” was written and directed by Harry Bromley Davenport. It reached theaters and home video in 1983, although it was filmed February 1982. The timeframe helps explain Xtro’s cold, indifferent atmosphere. First, England just got over the ‘Big Snow,’ where temperatures dropped to -22 degrees Fahrenheit (-30 degrees Celsius). On top of that, Argentina had just invaded a couple of UK islands, kicking off the Falklands War. And don’t forget the $500,000 budget; you have to assume the cast and crew were underpaid. In other words, the temperature in the UK was likely bleak during the film’s production, both figuratively and literally. And sure enough, that cold, hopeless vibe, reminiscent of John Carpenter’s The Thing, is readily apparent onscreen.

The movie opens on Sam Phillips (Phillip Sayer) and his son Tony (Simon Nash). They’re playing outside a farm when a bright spotlight from above washes over Sam. His body slowly rises within the spotlight until he disappears, leaving Tony alone on the farm.

Fast-forward three years. We check in on Tony, who lives with his mother, Rachel (Bernice Stegers), and her new boyfriend, Joe (Danny Brainin). A french au-pair named Analise (Maryam d’Abo) also lives with the family - although she’s really just there to provide gratuitous nudity. Everyone assumes Sam ran off with another woman, except for Tony who saw what really happened. But who’s gonna believe a kid?

At the same time, another spotlight appears in a forest where a little seed is spontaneously planted. That little seed grows into a four-legged humanoid-alien (as they do) who contorts its way to a cabin occupied by a woman lounging on the couch. Kinda like Alien’s facehuggers, this seed-grown humanoid suctions itself to the nice lady’s mouth, thereby impregnating her. You’ll know what happens next if you saw Alex Garland’s Men. To those of you who missed Men, let’s just say Sam is back and wetter than ever.

The unfolding events take an even stranger turn when Sam moves back in with his family. He often sneaks off to eat snake eggs and sniff carbon monoxide. When Tony calls out the odd behavior, Sam comes clean, admitting that aliens adapted his body to their planet’s conditions and, now, he needs to eat snake eggs and sniff carbon monoxide to survive. With the secret out, Sam shows Tony his new telepathic abilities. And for some unexplained reason, Tony shares those telepathic powers and immediately uses them to animate a toy soldier and a stuffed clown into living, breathing killing machines. And, yes - the plot gets even crazier from there.

Like The Thing, Xtro adds a hefty layer of mistrust to the film’s cold indifference. The viewer constantly wonders whether Sam is really Sam. And even if it’s Sam, his agency and motivations remain in doubt well after the credits roll. It creates an uncomfortable vibe where you don’t know what’s coming next; and apparently that’s a vibe mainstream critics couldn’t handle. They trashed The Thing for the same reasons. Let’s take a look at the critical response in 1983:

The Mainstream Response

Davenport marketed Xtro as the dark, sleazy alternative to E.T. (”Not all extraterrestrials are friendly!”). The approach didn’t gain him any accolades, as most critics savaged the film’s body horror, incoherent plotting, and that very bleak tone. Take a look for yourself:

Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun-Times, 1983):

America’s favorite critic gave Xtro 1 out of 4 stars, and described it as “a completely depressing, nihilistic film, an exercise in sadness. It’s an ugly, mean-spirited and despairing thriller that left me thoroughly depressed. Why was this movie made?”

Gene Siskel (At the Movies, 1983):

Gene Siskel summarized his thoughts in one word: “garbage.” He found the nihilistic approach “offensive.” To Siskel, Davenport is basically saying, “‘That’s it, everybody’s going to die, there’s no hope, fade to black.’ It’s as if they’re so pretentious that they’re trying to make some kind of a philosophical statement …” the film’s aspirations seemed to anger Siskel & Ebert, which is really weird and disingenuous. How dare they try something new! But hey, don’t take it from me. Listen to Siskel & Ebert themselves trash Xtro:

Leonard Maltin (Movie and Video Guide):

Leonard Maltin shared Siskel & Ebert’s disdain for the film when he argued Xtro was “crudely directed... guided by gruesomeness, and overwrought but dull.”

TV Guide (1980s Capsule Review):

TV Guide gave Xtro 0 out of 4 stars, describing the film as “[a] vile exercise in grotesque special effects... An excuse to parade all manner of perversities across the screen. Not only is this disgusting, it lacks anything that remotely resembles a coherent plot.”

Stephen Hunter (The Baltimore Sun, 1983):

Maybe The Baltimore Sun will have something nice to say: “the slimiest, wormiest, most nauseating film to come oozing into Baltimore in some time” with a plot that is “almost wholly incomprehensible.” Nope, nevermind.

Variety (1983):

Variety’s critic wouldn’t even sign their review, calling Xtro “too silly and underdeveloped in story values to expand beyond diehard fans.” The mystery critic added that Davenport “builds little suspense and no thrills in a film devoid of stuntwork or action scenes.” Ouch.

The Genre-Fan Response

The newspapers’ shared response comes as no surprise - those guys aren’t known for liking schlock. We need to examine the genre writers’ reactions to Xtro to find more sincere opinions:

Alan Jones (Starburst Magazine, 1983):

First up, Alan Jones at Starburst Magazine. Jones felt the film struggled structurally and called it “nothing very xtro-ordinary,” but he also rightly praised the special effects: “The special effects were minor miracles of ingenuity for their low budget... [I admire the movie for] trying so earnestly to resuscitate low budget exploitation SF/horror films in this country.”

Time Out London (1983):

Time Out London gave the movie a nice little backhanded compliment, recognizing its potential cult status: “incompetent enough to be prime drive-in fodder.” Ultimately, Time Out deemed Xtro derivative, calling it a “mish-mash of all the half-remembered elements from recent hungry alien films.”

Colin Greenland (Imagine Magazine, 1983):

Colin Greenland with Imagine Magazine understood the assignment better than his peers. He writes, “Xtro is quite unpretentious. It doesn’t claim to be anything but a vehicle for Tony Harris’ special effects, which are as virulent and glutinous as they come.” Did Siskel & Ebert see the same movie?

Jo Imeson (Monthly Film Bulletin, 1983):

Imeson categorized Xtro as a “children in peril” film, and a crappy one at that .. or as he called it, an inferior rip-off. He also attacked the film’s pacing and narrative structure.

Bob Martin (Fangoria Vol. Issue 24, December 1982):

Fangoria gave Xtro it’s December 1982 cover. Inside, Bob Martin described the film as “the adventure of an extraterrestrial and his special relationship with a little boy and his family.” He continues, “Unlike a certain other E.T., this fellow turns out to be the boy’s father, and his visit results in rape, murder, and the possible conquest of Earth.”

Martin interviewed Robert Shaye, Xtro’s producer and the founder of New Line Cinema who later helmed the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. They discussed New Line’s reputation in the 70s/80s as an indie & midnight movie production and distribution studio. New Line had just distributed Jon Waters’ full filmography plus a second run of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So Xtro was right up Shaye’s alley - an ambitious low-budget film catering to niche audiences.

And really, the film’s ambition is what the critics missed … except for Siskel & Ebert - they actually penalized the movie for its ambition. But the others failed to see just how ambitious the effects were on such a tight budget. “There are effects in the film that turned out far better than we’d hoped, and some that turned out worse,” Shaye says. “And there were some that were far worse, where we had to say, ‘no way.’ On all the films that we’ve made, we have tried to do the best job that we could, given the money that we had and the skills that we had.”

What Shaye & Co. did with $500,000 is objectively impressive and deserves recognition. Just take a look at the film’s influences, ranging from I Married a Monster from Outer Space to ALIEN to Close Encounters. Xtro’s special effects sequences intentionally tried to emulate those films’ big moments but on a grander scale with much less money. Does it succeed every time? Of course not, but the effort makes Xtro so much better than it should be.

The Trilogy (plus one!)

Davenport made two sequels to Xtro, although neither film connects to the original nor each other in any way, shape, or form. First up is bluntly titled Xtro II: The Second Encounter (1991). The plot follows government scientists working on interdimensional travel in a secret underground facility. The scientists succeed in reaching a new dimension, but they bring back a fast-growing alien that hunts them through the air ducts. If the plot sounds identical to Alien and Alien$, that’s because it is. Oh, and the alien looks nothing like the alien in Xtro (see above).

The production was a mess, mostly because star Jan-Michael Vincent struggled to stay sober during the shoot. Davenport claimed Vincent frequently threw up, got into fist fights, and forgot his lines on set. Despite a poor critical reception and going straight to home video, Xtro II made all of its money back.

Not content with ripping off Xenomorphs, Davenport returned with Xtro III: Watch the Skies four years later to rip off John McTiernan’s Predator. The story follows a group of military washouts sent to a deserted island to dispose of old World War II explosives. They accidentally blow open a concrete vault, releasing a hostile chameleon-like ET (looks nothing like the aliens in Xtro and Xtro II (see above)) that had been trapped there for decades by the government.

The movie shows us how the military originally trapped the alien. They had captured him and his mate, who he seemed to genuinely love. So you can imagine how this alien felt when the government scientists caged him, forcing him to helplessly watch them torture and kill his wife. I’d be angry too when I was accidentally released decades later.

Better than Xtro II, but miles behind the original Xtro. The best thing going for this one is Davenport’s choice to go fully practical and avoid CGI, which was super hot at the time (early 90s). Like its predecessor, Xtro 3 was a direct-to-video release and did not generate a tracked theatrical box office gross.

We almost got Xtro 4, but the project stalled in development hell. Davenport announced he would return to form, ignore Xtro II and III, and create a direct, psychotronic sequel to Xtro. Unfortunately, financing an abstract, hyper-weird practical effects horror movie in the modern indie landscape proved far more difficult than securing VHS distribution money in the 1990s. Davenport still talks about Xtro 4, saying it will be odder and more uncomfortable than the original, but unfortunately it hasn’t gone into production. Fingers crossed that we’ll see it one day.

That’s a Wrap

Here’s some exciting news: expect shorter windows between issues this summer. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, including films on abductions, first contact, government coverups, space travel, and our own origins. In the meantime, you should check out Xtro on Amazon Prime, Shudder and BFI Player. Just be sure to set that VPN to London. I think you’ll agree that Xtro is a unique movie with a lot of surprises I haven’t mentioned. You can probably skip the sequels unless you’re a Jan-Michael Vincent completist.