CineVibez Fanzine #17
Dancin' Vibez
Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe. Big news folks - we’re starting a brand new vibe today called “dancin’ vibez.” That’s right, I’m recommending a whole troupe of unique, toe-tapping flicks with that unmistakable, yet somehow totally undefinable, cinevibez style.
I’m also debuting two brand new segments to replace new releases: 1) Analog Adventures and 2) SLIFF, Swish. The former honors the VHS and home video era, whereas the latter highlights two totally separate and unrelated experiences at both SLIFF 2025 (St. Louis International Film Festival) and a pre-pandemic Katy Perry concert. SLIFF, Swish will be a one-off.
Before we get started, I need to define the elements of a dancin’ vibe film. Any movie entering the CineVibez Fanzine Canon must be drenched in that special cinevibez style and pizzazz; that’s a given folks. A selection must also include one of the following elements to qualify for dancin’ vibez:
The film contains a memorable dance sequence (think Beetlejuice),
dance is central to the film’s plot (think Bring it On),
actors portray characters who are professional dancers (think Ballerina: A John Wick Story), or
actors portray characters who go undercover as professional dancers (think The Dancing Detective: A Deadly Tango).
The examples above are simply that - examples. They aren’t Canon; nor are masterpieces like The Red Shoes, Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Prom Night, All That Jazz, Moulin Rouge, & Magic Mike. While we’re at it, let’s filter out standard musicals - they don’t really fit the zine no. 17 vibe (musicals deserve their own issue). Today, we’re only after obscure, often unpolished films exemplifying that special cinevibez oomph and gumption. I want Slashdance, not Flashdance (although I love Flashdance).
Analog Adventures
You guys, this is my eleventh draft of Analog Adventures #1. Can you believe it? In the first draft, I highlighted fun movies from my personal collection of VHS tapes - classics like Ricki Lake’s cat detective noir and a christian workout video titled “Praise!”. And then Netflix bought WB and, suddenly, this segment transformed into a 25-point manifesto taking down the power structures of Hollywood. But I dunno, don’t you guys already know Netflix sucks? Do you really need me telling you that?
So, I went back to my first idea for draft #11, but with a little twist. Below, you will find a photograph of a stack of VHS tapes I found at the thrift store. All four share a common theme representative of next issue’s vibe. Hmm, wonder what it will be and, more importantly, will it remain relevant by the time its published? Tune in right here to find out!
You guys should already know everything about Gremlins and Prancer, but here’s a few fun facts about the other two movies:
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s one and only directing credit, Christmas in Connecticut, has a captivating tagline: “She’s hungry for ratings … he’s hungry for dinner …” I didn’t add the ellipses. The box cover includes helpful blurbs like, “Director Arnold Schwarzenegger cooks up a holiday hit!” Here’s the back of the box:
Lucky Stiff is another weird one with a high-profile director. Anthony Perkins directs this psychotic (pun-intended) tale about a Christmas dinner. While this one sounds unique, its mostly just fat jokes. Here’s the back of the box:
SLIFF, Swish
I always associate the start of awards season with the end of SLIFF, the St. Louis International Film Festival. The festival, now in its 34th year, usually shows award contenders a few months before they’re widely available. And this year was no different. I saw Sentimental Value, No Other Choice, Is This Thing On?, and Micro-Budget.
Sentimental Value: Funny and endearing, but the performances are the big selling point in this story about a father trying to reconnect with his daughters. Renate Reinsve blew me away (as always) as the lead daughter. She is by far one of the most exciting actresses working today. But if you want real movie magic, put her toe-to-toe with Stellan Skarsgård.
Sentimental Value shares a key theme with Is This Thing On?, in that both explore the different ways we struggle to communicate our feelings. Here, Skarsgard’s character, a film director, has to make a movie just to tell his daughter he loves her. Is This Thing On? is about a guy who works on his marital problems by signing up for open mic night at the Comedy Cellar. The turmoil in both stories could have been avoided with therapy, but then we wouldn’t have the movies.
Is This Thing On?: Speaking of which, Is This Thing On? is Bradley Cooper’s most accessible film yet. Funny, touching, and relatable in a lot of ways. And while this movie gives us nothing new (hello HBO’s Crashing), it is still expertly crafted. I highly recommend this one.
Micro-Budget: Lots of funny moments in this mockumentary-styled comedy about an idiot who writes, directs, acts in, and produces a shitty movie. Look, this flick is no Naked Gun but I appreciate the effort made. You may even have a winner if you shave off 30 minutes and tighten up that ending. The film crew, played by Mike Mitchell and John Gabrus, and the leading lady, played by Superstore’s Nichole Sakura, stand out in a very stacked cast.
No Other Choice: Save the best for last. Language barriers are no match for Park Chan-wook, who has gifted us with another fantastic film. The camerawork is really impressive, especially during scene transitions. I kinda loved how I was always a step behind the storytelling yet I rarely felt lost. No Other Choice is a special one. Ultimately, this is a timely, often funny story that is viscerally relatable. I mean, who hasn’t fantasized about taking out the competition?
Katy Perry Concert: I went to a Katy Perry show half a decade ago in St. Louis. Such a busy stage with giant flying lips and eyeballs. My main gripe was that its the tour where Perry shaved her head. I prefer long-haired Katy Perry - I just do. And TBPH, I’m only including this ‘story’ so I could rhyme something with SLIFF. Onward and upward!
Dancin’ Vibez
Memorable Dance Sequence(s) SubVibez
The Mask (1994): A cartoon come to life. The filmmakers intended to CGI the Mask’s facial expressions, but it was ultimately unnecessary because Jim Carrey could make the faces himself. A legend at his best, but this one also made Cameron Diaz an A-Lister. Her first appearance may take your breath away, but she is smokin’ in the dance sequence shown later (proud of that wordplay).
Return of the Living Dead (1985): Wow, I’m spoiling you guys. You’re getting John Henry Richardson and Lianna Quigley’s inaugural entries into the Canon in the same issue! What a wonderful world.
Quigley plays Trash, a punk rocker with short, bright red hair who performs a memorable striptease in a graveyard atop freshly buried corpses. At one point, Quigley slides two fingers between her legs as a bunch of reanimated, rotting zombies inch closer. Welcome RotLD to the CineVibez Canon. Watch a VHS transfer here or go to Tubi.
The Majorettes (1986): The Majorettes is a high-school slasher with more subplots than kills. Seriously, a new, unrelated plot detail gets introduced every minute. But the one constant in this movie is dancing, and oh boy - these gals love to dance. The most memorable dancing comes from the opening scene - it continues for what feels like hours but I know that’s not possible.
Titane (2021): Fit bodies under purple lights, dancing the night away to ‘Lighthouse’ by Future Islands. Sounds magical, but it needs something more. Maybe a car to fuck?
Babylon (2022): Fueled by cocaine and small town dreams, Margot Robbie dances the night away in a little red dress … for over thirty minutes. The best opening dance sequence in any film, ever. Elephants, producers, starlets, singers moving in unison. Just absolute perfection, especially Justin Hurwitz’s score.
Silence of the Lambs (1991): Who could forget Buffalo Bill dancing in his victims’ birthday suits? Need I say more?
Tammy & the T-Rex (1994): This one stars Denise Richards and the late, great Paul Walker as a couple of teens in love. Unfortunately, that love becomes more difficult to blossom once the male half of the couple turns into an animatronic tyrannosaurus rex. Yes, animatronic - not a real dinosaur. They want you to know the dinosaur is a robot that just happens to be shaped like a T-Rex. That fact is crucial to the story.
The film’s ending reveals Walker’s character is now a desktop PC. Tammy took his brain out of the dino robot and placed it in a PC in her bedroom. Then, she gave the computer a little striptease that caused him to short circuit … and the credits roll.
Frankenstein Island (1981): All-female tribes dancing around a pig roast is a time-honored tradition in exploitation cinema. Frankenstein Island is the most fun, but I love the Blood Island movies from the Philippines. Check out Brides of Blood and Love Goddesses of Blood Island if you’re curious. And you can watch Frankenstein Island right here.
Dance is Central to the Plot SubVibez
Xanadu (1980): A cocaine-fueled, neon light show that brings together Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly to conjure up an artist’s dream disco-skating rink. This film oozes joy and creativity while simultaneously forcing you to question reality and maybe your own sanity. Xanadu is the Alpha and Omega when it comes to dancin’ vibez. I promise all Barbie (2023) fans will love this movie more than words can describe.
Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984): Voyage of the Rock Aliens is as original as it gets. The film opens on a bunch of aliens inside a guitar-shaped spaceship. Their mission to find rock n’ roll takes the aliens to Pia Zadora, of all people, on Earth. Things get weird from there; the weirdest being a fascinating Ruth Gordon cameo. Check out the full movie right here.
Dance or Die (1987): This is a movie about a guy named Jason who has his hands full. He needs to prepare the dance troupe he coaches for a big show, kick a drug habit, and manage the fallout from his roommate’s murder … all at the same time! You can’t call this movie “good,” but it’s definitely something.
Nocturna, Granddaughter of Dracula (1979): An obscure movie, but its totally worth watching if you find it. Dracula’s granddaughter rebels against her family and runs off to New York where she falls in love with disco. Highlights include a dance orgy commenced by the power of music and a vampire watching the sun rise.
Killer Party (1986): A comedy horror centered on three sorority pledges who have to throw a big party after their initiation; and yea - there’s dancing at this party. The first two acts are your typical college co-ed comedies but the third act is a lot of fun. One of the girls gets possessed during the party and mayhem ensues.
Professional Dancers SubVibez
Murder Rock: Dancing Death (1984): I think ‘thrusting’ and ‘ungapatchka’ should never share a sentence, but some people disagree with me. Many The Substance reviews on Letterboxd reference ‘unnecessary and excessive thrusting,’ whatever the hell that means. If you wrote any of those reviews, I recommend you stay away from Murder Rock. Everyone else should click right here.
Evil Judgement (1984): You’ll see a lot of giallo films on the dancin’ vibez list, but Evil Judgement is the only one from Canada. And, oh boy, you’ll know this movie is from Canada - unnecessary, out of its way politeness is on full display. Oh - and the opening scene shows our final girl practicing moves in the dance studio. So yea, it qualifies. Watch for free right here.
Suspiria (1977): A giallo masterpiece - Part 1 of Argento’s Three Mothers Trilogy takes us to a prestigious ballet academy where a prospective student played by Jessica Harper finds herself immersed in a world of intrigue and terror. It goes without saying that the dance academy is not all it appears to be.
Luca’s 2018 remake feels like a wholly different movie, although it goes heavier on the dancing, including a very nasty scene with Mia Goth. Let’s include it in the Canon as a bonus.
X Trilogy: We could place this trilogy under any of the four subvibez All three movies include memorable dance sequences, whether it be Pearl’s dalliance with a scarecrow in Pearl or her bloody ballet moves in X. And don’t forget Maxine unknowingly dancing for her preacher father. Memorable sequences - check. We see Maxine dance in a strip club. Pro dancer - check. Maxine’s dad, undercover as the Night Stalker, is a strip club customer. Undercover dancer … eh good enough — check. Finally, the movie is about the efforts one will make to become a star. Basically a dancing theme - check. Let’s go with professional dancer subvibez to balance things out.
The Gore Gore Girls (1972): Gore Gore Girls isn’t just a clever title. You’re guaranteed two things here: dancing and gore - lots of gore. We’re mutilating eyeballs, slicing open heads, butts and throats, and, most cringe-inducing for me, we’re observing violent nipple play. Herschell Gordon Lewis, welcome to the Canon. BTW, I would normally recommend HGL’s boxed set from Arrow Video, but rumor has it that AGFA is working on a new restoration.
Showgirls (1995): I can call Showgirls, Paul Verhoeven’s masterpiece, a masterpiece and I bet you wouldn’t even wince. Would you? And how great is that? The past decade or so, it feels like we’ve been recategorizing ‘stinkers’ as respected cult classics. I think that’s just great. But, ya Showgirls is great - growing up, I had the biggest crush on Gina Gershon.
Undercover as Professional Dancers SubVibez
Slashdance (1989): A delightfully weird slasher with a fascinating cast of characters, including some GLOW wrestlers and John Henry Richardson. Slashdance is the first John Henry Richardson film to enter the Canon. I assure you, it will not be his last.
Anyway, Slashdance sees Detective Tori Raines go undercover to find a killer who is murdering a bunch of ladies auditioning for a musical. Raines totally reminded me of another Tori - Tori Scott (played by Leanna Creel), the gal who’s family owned the summer resort in Saved by the Bell. Click here to watch Slashdance for free.
I swear I had more movies for this category but here we are. Oh well.
The Encore
That’s a wrap on dancin’ vibez. I’ve already begun work on zine 18, which will hopefully reach your inboxes before Christmas. If you haven’t figured it out yet, the theme is … Christmaz Vibez, duh. I have a growing list of holiday films I need to watch - starting with Elves (1988). Fortunately, I have no plans this weekend.
A quick plug for Jonathon Ytreberg’s The Oscar Project - I recently guested on his podcast to talk about The Green Goddess, a super racist but fun movie! Give it a listen here! And don't forget to subscribe to Jonathon’s substack here!
Until Next Time,
Happy Watching!