CineVibez Fanzine #20
Classified Cinema No. 2: Extraterrestrial Buddy-Cops
Introduction
Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe. It’s been a hot minute, but maintaining a full-time job and managing what some call “the next Fangoria” gets exhausting. That’s why I’m excited to announce that I hired help. Well maybe not ‘hired,’ but I found someone willing to work for free. Everybody, say hello Bryan the Intern (and math whiz!).You’ll get to know Bryan on our social media and the occasional article like today’s Dark Angel and Hidden II reviews. Bryan resides in South Bend, Indiana and loves watching Rudy and other pretentious Oscar-bait. Be sure to give him a warm CineVibez welcome.
And, as you guys know, we’re knee-deep in The CineVibez Fanzine Summer Series: Classified Cinema. Part II explores a very special kind of buddy-cop movie … remember the buddy-cop movie? It had such a simple, yet effective formula: bring opposing forces together to solve a crime … and that’s it! In the 70s, movies like The French Connection and Busting focused on the partners’ clashing temperaments and personalities. Likely inspired by In the Heat of the Night (1967) and social progress, the 80s upped the ante with biracial partners from different socioeconomic backgrounds in movies like Beverly Hills Cop, Lethal Weapon, and 48 Hours. By the turn of the century, Rush Hour took the genre international. The next logical step was obviously outer space, but the BLM movement understandably brought everything to a screeching halt (we almost got a Key & Peele led Police Academy reboot).
A few outliers proved ahead of their time by showing us what an extraterrestrial partnership could look like. I’m not including the Men in Black quadrilogy since each focuses on two Earthling partners. An alien informant doesn’t really count. And sorry to orcs (2017’s Bright) and zombies (1989’s Dead Heat); today’s selections are strictly extraterrestrial, which includes The Hidden (1987), Dark Angel (1990), Alien Nation (1988), Alien Private Eye (1989), and The Hidden II (1993).
IRL Inspirations
Before we get into the movies, let’s explore some real-life interactions between local and intergalactic authorities:
Herbert Schirmer, Ashland, Nebraska — December 3, 1967
First up is an incredible tale told by Sergeant Herbert Schirmer of Ashland, Nebraska PD. On December 3, 1967, Sergeant Schirmer observed bright lights ahead of him while on patrol. He approached and saw little beings dressed in silver jumpsuits exiting a flying saucer. The little humanoids brought Schirmer aboard the ship to show him various problems they observed on Earth, including human violence, war, and crime. They had no interest in solving our plights.. Just … observing, almost like a cosmic Internal Affairs.
Per the Condon Report, the government actually hypnotised Sergeant Schirmer to test the veracity of his claims. The result? Schirmer lost his job, got divorced, and spent the rest of his life being labeled crazy.
Alan Godfrey, Todmorden, England — 1980
Constable Alan Godfrey of the West Yorkshire Police Department discovered the lifeless body of Zigmund Adamski atop a coal pile with unexplained burns and a strange ointment on his skin. Adamski was reported missing five days earlier, yet he only had a day’s worth of beard growth. A lot of people suspected an alien abduction gone wrong, but not Godfrey (a devout skeptic).
Just five months later, Godfrey observed a huge diamond-like object floating in the sky for what felt like a few seconds. After the encounter, he discovered 25 minutes had actually passed. He also noticed a strange marking on the top of his foot. Under hypnosis, Godfrey described small beings and a tall bearded figure who brought him aboard the ship to examine his body.
The British government sent a “Man from the Ministry” who made Godfrey sign the Official Secrets Act. Afterward, the government tried to have him sanctioned. The end result was quite similar to Schirmer’s experience: Godfrey lost his family, his home, and eventually himself to alcoholism. All for saying he saw something weird while on duty.
Gary McKinnon, London, England — 2001-02
As we explore the real-life influences for our Classified Cinema film selections, you’ll learn about some of the big players in the UFO disclosure effort. For example, Dr. Steven Greer founded a nonprofit UFO research organization named The Disclosure Project in 1993. Its primary mission is to gather and organize government whistleblowers willing to publicly break their security oaths to reveal classified information about extraterrestrial intelligence.
Greer’s efforts first proved fruitful on May 9, 2001 when The Disclosure Project hosted a massive, two-hour press conference at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. During the broadcast, over 20 highly credentialed witnesses (including former military officers, FAA officials, intelligence operatives, and defense contractors) stepped forward to break their oaths.
The witnesses collectively alleged that:
The US government has recovered crashed extraterrestrial spacecraft,
“Black budget” defense programs have successfully reverse-engineered this technology,
The research resulted in anti-gravity propulsion and the discovery of zero-point “free energy,” and
A “shadow government” is deliberately suppressing this free energy technology to protect the global fossil fuel industry and maintain geopolitical control.
Meanwhile, in London … Scottish hacker Gary McKinnon watched the broadcast with his jaw agape. If true, the whistleblowers’ claims reveal a massive conspiracy. If limitless, clean energy actually exists, and if it’s being kept hidden from the public to protect corporate profits, then the choice to hide it from the public might be the most evil and consequential crime against humanity ever committed.
This revelation understandably compelled Gary to take action.. Using the Disclosure Project’s testimonies as a sort of digital treasure map, McKinnon got to work, hacking various government agencies and aerospace contractors to fact-check the whistleblowers and find the hidden blueprints for free energy.
Gary never found the blueprints, although he discovered things far more unbelievable: 1) an image of the now infamous “Tic-Tac” UFO, nearly 13 years prior to the USS Nimitz Tic-Tac encounter in 2014, and 2) a list of nonterrestrial military fleets and officer names and rank. If Gary is to be believed, the US Government is in contact with another planet’s military.
Now, let’s talk about movies!
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Our Picks
There aren’t many buddy-cop movies where one partner is an alien. The Hidden (1987), its terrible sequel, and Alien Nation (1988) are really the only three direct hits I’m aware of. Dark Angel (1990) and Alien Private Eye (1989) don’t focus on an alien-human partnership, but they’re close enough to throw in the mix. Let’s get started with The Hidden (1987).
The Hidden (1987)
The Story: The Hidden is the sci-fi action comedy you never knew you needed until now. Director Jack Sholder, the guy who directed A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2, drops us into a brutal bank robbery chase where the robber survives 40 bullets to the chest with a smile. Michael Nouri (Flashdance) is the cop hot on the robber’s trail who is forced to partner with a very weird, sensitive FBI agent played by Kyle MacLachlan.
Later, we learn MacLachlan’s character is an alien-cop chasing the robber (who’s a shapeshifting alien slug) from planet to planet. MacLachlan needs Nouri’s help to put an end to the space slug’s reign of terror once and for all.
The Vibe: It’s shot like a sleek 80s action movie but with body-horror detours. The alien slug takes us on a tour of Los Angeles lowlifes as it switches from body to body, including a stripper and, memorably, a dog. Sholder directs with a crisp, propulsive energy that makes the film feel expensive despite the modest budget. The cinematography gives LA a glossy, neon-noir sheen that makes the alien stuff feel a bit more grounded. The script keeps things light and fun.
The Reaction:
Roger Ebert (3/4 stars): Called it “a surprisingly effective film... a sleeper that talks like a thriller and walks like a thriller, but has more brains than the average thriller.” Also praised MacLachlan for playing a character “just a beat out of step.”
Hal Hinson (Washington Post): “One of the most satisfying genre movies to hit the streets in a while.”
Peter Stack (San Francisco Chronicle): “A well-constructed thriller... brought down by an utterly conventional sci-fi ending.”
Our Take: The Hidden (1987) is a bright, funny hidden gem in the world of 80s action flicks. A sci-fi twist, downtown LA chase scenes, strip club shootouts, and alien transformations … What more could you need?
The Hidden II (1993)
The Story: Hey gang, it’s me Bryan the Intern. My first assignment at CineVibez HQ was to watch The Hidden II and write a review. Of course, Murray failed to mention that I needed to see The Hidden I to understand its sequel.
The film picks up in the middle of The Hidden I. No seriously, the first half hour of The Hidden II is the last half hour of The Hidden I, making it an even more confusing experience for a The Hidden-verse newbie like myself.
From there, the sequel takes everything you loved about The Hidden and repackages it as dog poop. Raphael Sbarge, who looks identical to Napoleon Dynamite, replaces Kyle MacLachlan as the alien agent. Kate Hodge plays Michael Nouri’s daughter who helps Sbarge hunt down the offspring of the alien in the original movie. They should’ve called it The Hidden: Offspring Edition.
The Vibe: Direct-to-video vibes. Director Seth Pinsker reportedly shot this movie with “numerous close-ups” and “technical goofs like the reflections of boom mikes and cameramen.” The budget was presumably whatever was left in the New Line couch cushions after The Hidden made its modest profit.
The Reaction:
Rotten Tomatoes: 15% (3 reviews)
Entertainment Weekly: Grade D
Caffeinated Clint (Moviehole): “Makes the original look like a twelve-time Oscar Winning clasic.” [sic]
Brian Mckay (eFilmCritic): “Drop it into that little crack between the shelf and the wall... that is the only way it can possibly live up to its name.”
Audience consensus: “Avoid this one even if you like the original.”
Our Take: We include this film solely as a public service. The Hidden II is what happens when a studio looks at a cult classic and says, “What if we removed everything good and added Raphael Sbarge?” The answer is: don’t. But as a cautionary tale, it’s invaluable. Every film needs its shadow. And this is one dark, embarrassing shadow.
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Alien Nation (1988)
The Story: Three years after 300,000 aliens called “Newcomers” or, if you’re a bigot, “Slags” crash-landed in the Mojave Desert and got absorbed into Los Angeles society.
James Caan plays Matt Sykes, a burned-out cop whose partner is killed by a couple of Newcomer stickup men. In a sick twist of fate, Sykes’ replacement is Sam Francisco (Mandy Patinkin), the first alien detective in the LAPD.
The rest of the film plays off the differences between the two partners. Sykes is basically Archie Bunker with a badge. Francisco is polite, middle-class, and saddled with the name “Sam Francisco” by immigration officers with a sense of humor.
The partners must learn to work together to solve a crime that could destroy humanity’s trust in the Newcomers if a rogue Newcomer isn’t caught before it’s too late.
There’s a fun subplot where Detective Francisco develops an addiction to sour milk to cope with his marital troubles. Aliens are just like us!
The Vibe: Written by Rockne S. O’Bannon, produced by Gale Anne Hurd (who produced Aliens and The Terminator). Shot by Adam Greenberg (The Terminator, La Bamba). So why does it feel so... flat?
Maybe because the premise is richer than the execution. The film gestures toward real social issues like segregation, discrimination, cultural assimilation, but it never commits to any of them. The sour-milk joke gets laughs, but it’s also a silly replacement for actual character development. And Mandy Patinkin looks so goofy in the alien makeup.
The Reaction:
Roger Ebert (2/4 stars): “A failure of imagination... sea-level filmmaking: What you see is all you get.” He also offered four better plot ideas in his review than the movie actually used.
James Berardinelli (ReelViews): “A warmed-over cop movie that misses too many opportunities to be offbeat or at least different.”
Janet Maslin (New York Times): Mixed-positive. Praised Caan and Patinkin, said it “works as a witty parable about racism for a while,” but admitted the conventional aspects eventually overwhelm the novelty.
Kevin Thomas (Los Angeles Times): “Lays on allegory to freshen up the formula cop-buddy picture. But it lays it on so thinly that it only emphasizes the routineness.”
Our Take: Alien Nation is the most frustrating movie on this list because it had everything you want, like a big budget, solid cast, quality cinematographer, and a unique premise. Despite all of the above, this movie never rises above a generic cop movie with forehead prosthetics.
The sour milk joke? Funny once. After that, you realize the Newcomers have no culture nor sense of an interior life. They’re just humans with bad scalps. That said, Caan is great and Patinkin does what he can under all the latex.
They made a multi-season TV show based on the characters and premise, and I hear it’s better than the movie. Maybe I’ll force Bryan the Intern to watch it.
Special Features:
Before the makeup department could deliver a Newcomer to the set, they had to answer a philosophical question: are these aliens characters or creatures? The producer wanted the former: “We wanted the audience to accept them as different from us, but not so different that no one is buying the storyline.” The effects crew, however, wanted the latter: a craggy, brutish, reptilian thing with teeth and interesting hands. They were inspired by Enemy Mine‘s makeup and saw an opportunity to build something similar.
The result was, of course, a compromise leading to lots of latex and makeup appliances. Background Newcomers got basic latex masks, whereas the more prominent Newcomers like Mandy Patinkin’s Sam Francisco required seven individual foam-latex appliances sculpted over lifecasts every day of shooting, with up to seventy individual molds per character. That’s a lot of gobbledy-guck for saying the Newcomer actors spent most of their time on set in makeup chairs.
The human cost for the makeup decision arrived in the form of Terence Stamp, cast as villain William Harcourt. Stamp had seen sketches but never been tested in the makeup. On his first day, confronted with a nine-piece prosthetic appliance, he “blew a gasket.” He grudgingly submitted to the daily routine until the costume department added a muscle suit to the get-up. Stamp decided he had enough and said, “I’m not doing it,” got on a plane, and left. A stunt double wore the makeup instead, but it never really looked like Terrance Stamp.
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Dark Angel (1990)
The Story: At the peak of his “I don’t need to emote, I just need to be tall” powers, buff genius Dolph Lundgren plays Jack Caine, a leather-jacket clad Houston detective who loses his partner to drug pushers in the movie’s opening scene. A very loose partnership with an alien later in the film qualifies Dark Angel for Classified Cinema Part II.
Caine doesn’t play by the rules. His captain yells at him. His apartment is messy. He has a dead partner to avenge. You know this guy. You’ve met him in eighty other movies. But you’ve never met him across from an alien who looks like a Scandinavian supermodel and kills people by extracting endorphins from their brains with a retractable disc weapon. Until now, that is … Matthias Hues plays the Taleon, a seven-foot albino in a long black coat with weaponry that is decades ahead of human technology. He says “I come in peace” right before he murders you, which is the film’s original title.
You’re probably wondering how Dark Angel represents an extraterrestrial partnership. Well, there’s another buff albino alien who is chasing down the bad one. He helps Dolph a little bit, but I wouldn’t necessarily call it a partnership even though Murray told me to “cram it into” the alien buddy-cop theme.
The Vibe: Dark, sweaty action. That’s the vibe created by Craig R. Baxley, a stunt coordinator turned director who understood that action movies are primarily about geometry: where the bodies go, how they fall, and how many plate-glass windows they pass through on the way down. Filmed in Houston, the locations create a sweaty, concrete-and-oil atmosphere that distinguishes it from the LA-noir sheen of The Hidden. This movie is nothing but Texas heat, Texas swagger, Texas everything-is-bigger energy.
The Reaction:
Roger Ebert (2/4 stars): “A sound-and-light show in search of a brain.” He also noted that the alien’s weapon — which causes victims to float toward the ceiling before exploding — was “the most interesting thing in the movie, and it isn’t in the movie enough.”
Variety: “Lundgren’s charisma is limited, but the film’s pace and inventiveness keep it watchable.”
Los Angeles Times: “A competent action vehicle that knows exactly what it is and doesn’t pretend otherwise.”
Audience consensus (Letterboxd): Mostly positive from the cult crowd — praised for practical effects, Lundgren’s physicality, and the sheer oddness of the premise.
Our Take: Dark Angel is the kind of film where every creative decision is a little off-center, producing a cumulative effect of confusing, yet somewhat surreal, watchability. It’s not good but its not bad either. It’s a nonsense plot, lots of explosions, and Dolph Lundgren. In other words, it’s got the CineVibez Fanzine Stamp of Approval.
Alien Private Eye (1989)
The Story: An actor/stunt-man named Nikki Fastinetti has only one IMDB credit to his name: Alien Private Eye. He plays Lemro, an alien from the planet Styx on vacation in Los Angeles who decides to open his own detective agency for fun. He wears a leisure suit with fingerless gloves and a silk-banded fedora that sits atop a Jheri curl/afro/mullet combination. Words really can’t describe it, so here’s a picture:
Lemro gets involved with a woman named Rene who has half of a black disc that produces an alien drug called Soma (alien drug discs were all the rage in the late 80s/early 90s). Another alien named Kilgore wants the disc for himself, and he’ll do anything to get his hands on it. Kilgore’s weapon of choice is a gold tooth filled with acid. He breaks it open and spits the acid onto his foes. Anyway, that’s the plot. I love this movie.
The Vibe: Straight to VHS vibez, through-and-through. Alien Private Eye is a sci-fi neo-noir on a shoestring budget, mostly shot in LA apartments and the surrounding back-alleys. Bright, but cheap.
The Reaction:
Rotten Tomatoes: No Tomatometer score. Audience review: “A fantastic bad movie.”
Missile Test (2026): “Shitty gold... displacing Jason X in the #75 spot of the Watchability Index.”
Brian Orndorf: “Has an idea, but no real clue what to do with it, with Rubenfeld managing limited resources and wooden performances.”
Film Critics United — Christopher Armstead: “Arguably one of the ten worst movies ever made... incompetent, lousy, poor, terrible, but 100% rock solid awesome.”
Our Take: There is no defending this movie on conventional terms. The acting is wooden, the plot is incoherent, and the lighting is nonexistent. Unconventionally, however, it’s fantastic. The fingerless gloves. The dancing. The acid tooth. Highlighting movies like this one is why I invented CineVibez Fanzine.
Case Closed
The alien buddy-cop subgenre says something about us, whether it means to or not. It’s about learning to trust and coexist with people who don’t look like you, speak like you, or drink what you drink. It’s about equality. Remember that next time you see a Newcomer on an LA street corner, drunk off spoiled milk. Part II of Classified Cinema is up next!!
Welcome aboard, Bryan! Cheers to bringing more Vibez our way!