CineVibez Fanzine #11
Award-Winning Vibez
Welcome to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe … even an independent, emotionally charged drama about a foul-mouthed sex worker with nothing to her name but a pocket full of dreams. Now that Anora has been crowned the belle of the ball, I bet you think award season is over. Wrong. It’s time for the Third Annual Archie’s Awards.
This year is a little different than the Archie’s of years past. But it still celebrates films that stay true to the CineVibez Code. The categories are separated by psychotronic genre; that means science fiction, fantasy, horror, and exploitation or, in a nutshell, independent “B” and cult movies released in the prior year (2024). And to be frank, I don't know what a 2024 exploitation film even is anymore. Most intentionally flip the script to honor the antithesis of the past films - think Revenge or Driveaway Dolls.
And finally, the Archie’s Awards’ “Best Picture” equivalent is a very special award - The Vibey. The first ever Vibey winner will be revealed TONIGHT. It honors the movie of the year that exemplifies what CineVibez stands for. So sit back, relax, and be sure to check out all of 2024’s Archie Champions.
Science Fiction:
Best Prosthetics:Chris Hemsworth’s nose in Furiosa (runner up - the nipple that falls out of Elizabeth Sparkle’s nostril)
Best Heel Turn: Timmy Chalamet as Paul A. at the end of Dune II (especially when he tosses Zendaya aside for the Progressive lady)
Best Effort to Kill off IP: Alien Romulus (more like Alien Yawn-ulus)
Best Science Fiction Picture: I Saw the TV Glow
Fantasy:
Best Pleasant Surprise: My Old Ass
Best Comedic Performance in a Fantasy: Ariana (LOLed throughout)
Best Use of IP: Wicked
Best Fantasy Ensemble: Megalopolis
Best Death Scene: Jon Voight’s arrow boner killing Wow Platinum and Claudio Pulcher
Best IRL Fantasy: The Rock’s belief that he still has a career after Red One
Best Fantasy Picture: Megalopolis
Horror:
Worst Use of IP: Apartment 2A
Best Use of IP: The First Omen
Best Actor in a Horror: Josh Hartnett in Trap (watch his face … that whole performance is in his face)
Best Use of Fluid: Tie between the ending of The Substance and whatever came out of that bird in Cuckoo
Best Use of Nicholas Cage: Longlegs
Best Attempt to Bring Unexplained, Random Psychic Abilities Back to the Genre: Longlegs
Best Theatrical Experience in Horror: The Substance (overall “Best Theatrical Experience” goes to the A24 re-release of the Jonathon Demme masterpiece Stop Making Sense)
Best Horror Picture: The Substance
Exploitation (loose definition):
Best Callback to the Past: Maxine Minx’s Depalma-esque heel-stomp
Best Swing and a Miss: Y2K
Best B-Movie: Beekeeper
Best Exploitation Picture: Bikeriders
Finally, the Vibey goes to:
Sasquatch Sunset
Extra Features:
I saw Mickey 17 last week. It’s set into the not too distant future where we figured out cloning and use it to spit out expendable workers to perform dangerous jobs. Eventually the practice is outlawed, so corporations start using “expendables” in space - outside the world’s jurisdiction. This particular film focuses on the life of one of the last expendables - Mickey 17.
I don’t know how people will take it, but I had a blast during Mickey 17. It’s a wacky, satirical slapstick movie with Bong Joon-Ho’s signature take capitalism. Think Brazil or even Dr. Strangelove. Rob Pattinson is great as Mickey, but Mark Ruffalo’s Kenneth Marshall takes the cake here - that guy Ruffalo - he is on a roll lately, isn’t he. I think Mickey 17 comes out nationwide this weekend. Let me know what you think.
Next issue is nearly complete. We’re getting back to our roots and focusing on a specific vibe - this time its Satanic Vibez … ohhh spooky. The Exorcist traumatized me as a child so the prep for this issue has been a cathartic experience. Until then, stock up on holy water and keep a lookout for #12 in your inbox!
Happy Watching,
Murray