In the summer of ‘98, two steroid-fueled titans of baseball touched the heart of a nation when the St. Louis Cardinals’ Mark McGwire and the Chicago Cubs’ Sammy Sosa raced to break Roger Maris’ single-season home-run record. The race to 62, as many called it, culminated within Busch Stadium II on an early September evening. McGwire had just lobbed the ball over the left-field wall, breaking the record* by a matter of inches.

Sosa ran from right field to home plate to join the celebration. He hugged McGwire as a sea of red and blue erupted in applause. What a beautiful moment - two rivals setting aside tribalism to celebrate the purity of the game of baseball.

17 years earlier, two titans of a very different industry raced to show movie-going audiences the first mechanical werewolf transformation on celluloid without using dissolves. An equally exciting time to be alive, or so I hear. So - sit back and relax as we go back to 1981, the Year of the Werewolf.

But first we have traditions to keep, darn it. Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe. We’re clawing our way out of 2025 and into 2026 (a few months late) with ... transformative vibez! But not just any old transformation, folks. Vampires, butterflies, and Ozempic fanatics can sit this one out. We’re shining the spotlight on a horse of a different color … werewolves, or more specifically, The Howling franchise - right on time for its forty-fifth anniversary.

To tell you the truth, I’ve never been much of a werewolf guy - most likely because of my crippling fear of losing control over my body. It’s kinda like demonic possession, you know, where someone or something takes over your words and actions with ill intentions. Werewolves take it a step further because it’s like a hungry, feral animal takes the wheel instead of a sentient demon. At least you could try to reason with the demon. I can’t even get my dog to sit.

Dick Miller, who plays an occult bookstore owner, establishes The Howling’s rules. First, he confirms Hollywood made up the full-moon myth. Werewolves can shapeshift anytime they want. Second, only silver or fire definitively kills a werewolf. Third, werewolves regenerate limbs or return from the dead if killed by something other than silver or fire. Watch at the link below:

Dick Miller is right, by the way. The full moon myth is Hollywood - first shown in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943).

So, why The Howling? Usually, people pick An American Werewolf in London (AAWIL) before The Howling. For heck’s sake, they invented the makeup category at the Oscars specifically for AAWIL. Yet, I’d wager that The Howling surpasses AAWIL in practical effects and nearly every other respect as well.

First, and foremost, The Howling is a more sincere movie than Landis’ AAWIL, which feels as phony as a Marvel script at times. AAWIL is just too snarky and sure of itself for its own good. And the mockery of British culture feels a tad unnecessarily mean-spirited.

In contrast, you have Joe Dante’s The Howling, starring Dee Wallace as local news anchor Karen White. I mention Wallace first because she is the heart and soul of the film. Apparently, Wallace was so naïve and uncomfortable on set that she may as well have been method acting. As she said in the audio commentary, the fear etched on Karen’s face looks genuine because it is.

Second, The Howling has the better script. Joe Dante hired John Sayles to write a new script from scratch that ignores the source material (a book by Gary Brandner). Sayles’ scripts always have smart satire, well-developed characters, and a political or cultural theme underneath the narrative plot. His scripts include Piranha, Night Skies (aka E.T.), Battle Beyond the Stars, Alligator, and The Brother from Another Planet. There's one other, but sadly we’ll never see it come to life. Of course, I'm talking about the infamous Jurassic Park 4 script - the one with the human-dino hybrids.

For The Howling, Sayles’ developed two satirical themes in the script. First, he satirized the quasi-psych/self-help industry burgeoning in the late 70s/early 80s; groups like Scientology, primal screamers, and even the satanic panic crowd (which takes center-stage in Dante’s The Burbs). In the early 80s, these groups pushed a theory that repression holds you back from your true potential. In Sayles’ script, the werewolves represent what that ‘true potential’ would look like - a monstrous wolf.

The second theme went after modern-day newsrooms driven by capitalism, i.e. the ratings. So when the newsroom receives letters addressed to Karen from Eddie Quist, an active serial killer (played by Richard Picardo), the news chief salivates over the potential ratings boon. In coordination with the police, he persuaded Karen to agree to meet with Eddie.

The meeting takes place in a porn shop’s backroom. It’s pitch-black but for some hardcore porn projected on the wall across from Karen. At first, we only see Eddie’s hands resting on Karen’s shoulders as he whispers his sick fantasies in her ear. The camera stays fixed on Karen’s face as she turns to witness Eddie transform into his true nature. I’d post the video, but it includes a little hardcore porn on the screen (made by Joe Dante himself!)

Unfortunately, the meeting didn’t lead to Eddie’s capture. Nor did it win the newsroom a Pulitzer. But it did inflict severe trauma on Karen; so much so that she repressed all her memories of Eddie’s transformation. The memory kept resurfacing as a debilitating and recurring nightmare. It got so bad that Karen sought help from Dr. George Waggoner (played by avid and outspoken nudist Patrick Macnee), a celebrity psychiatrist who does TV shows like Oprah. Think Dr. Phil, but more reputable. Dr. Waggoner invited Karen to a wellness retreat for folks who want to retrieve repressed memories. He failed to mention that the retreat caters exclusively to werewolves coping with their lycanthropic afflictions. It’s a clever script that turns this creature feature into “a B movie with A ideas.” - Elizabeth Bender

So we have sincerity and good writing, but that’s not all that separates The Howling from the pack. There’s also Rob Bottin’s incredible special effects work that absolutely outdoes the effects in AAWIL. The main reason is that The Howling’s effects look grittier than its counterpart. You probably just heard a record scratch. Didn’t Rick Baker win the makeup and effects Oscar for AAWIL that year? In fact, wasn’t the makeup category invented specifically for Rick Baker’s work on AAWIL? The answer to both questions is ‘yes, the organization that awarded Greenbook Best Picture occasionally gets it wrong.’

Baker originally contracted to oversee The Howling’s practical effects, but time-constraints and traveling abroad for AAWIL required him to let his 21-year-old apprentice, Rob Bottin, take over. That decision gave Bottin his first big break - and he’s the guy who did the practical effects on The Thing, Robocop, and Total Recall, by the way. Bottin’s signature is the tactile, fleshy look of 1980s and '90s genre movies that we love so much.

Anyway, back to the werewolves. Bottin’s werewolf transformation reached cinemas six months before AAWIL, so - to answer this issue’s initial question - Bottin wins chronologically. And the timeliness of Bottin’s work isn’t the only reason it’s superior. Just look at it for yourself:

No CGI in sight. Pretty cool, right? Budget constraints required Bottin to use an air-pump system with condoms to create the bubble-effect. The bone-breaking sound-effect you hear is the unintended sound of the condoms popping against Richard Picardo’s skin. As you can, though, Bottin’s werewolves are feral, grotesque, and two-legged in contrast to his mentor’s four-legged, more animal-like werewolves in AAWIL. I dunno - there’s just something scarier about a werewolf on two legs.

To compare, let’s look at Baker’s work in AAWIL:

Bottin’s werewolf design just looks grittier and more realistic than Baker's creation. Tell me I’m crazy in the comments if you think differently.

Fourth, The Howling rises above AAWIL because of the fun meta-references Joe Dante sprinkled throughout the movie. By 1981, your classic werewolf movies were old hat. No one tried to do anything new until Dante got his hands on The Howling. His film works so well because he’s pushing the genre forward while still respecting the pioneers before him. Here are some examples:

• Dr. George Waggoner’s namesake directed 1941’s The Wolf Man,

• Bill Neill (played by the late Christopher Stone) honors Roy William Neill, the director of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man from 1943,

• Belinda Balaski’s Terry Fisher gets her name from 1961’s The Curse of the Werewolf’s director, Terence Fisher.

• Kevin McCarthy’s Fred Francis gets his name from Freddie Francis, director of 1975’s Legend of the Werewolf.

• Slim Pickens’ Sam Newfield honors The Mad Monster director Sam Newfield.

• Noble Willingham’s Charlie Barton steals his name from Charles Barton, the director of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948).

• John Carradine’s Erle Kenton gets his name from Erle C. Kenton, director of House of Frankenstein (1944)

Other fun Easter eggs include a copy of The Three Little Pigs in one shot, a Roger Corman cameo, and most importantly of all, the first Wolf Brand Chili appearance in a Joe Dante film.

I think the fun winks amplify the sincerity of Joe Dante’s movie. He isn’t besmirching or mocking werewolf films of the past. He’s honoring them. Whereas it feels like Landis just wants to show us how smart and cool he is.

SPOILER ALERTS

Let’s close out ‘zine 18 with a breakdown of all seven sequels. This section will spoil major plot points in all the films, including the original. Consider yourself warned:

The Howling II My Sister is a Werewolf: Don’t let the ridiculous title fool you. The direct sequel to Dante's werewolf classic stands on its own, hurling the series into an insane new direction. It starts where the original left off: with Karen shot dead after transforming into a werewolf on live television.

We meet Karen’s brother at her funeral, as he watches Christopher Lee linger around her grave. He eventually confronts Lee, only to discover his sister had turned into a werewolf and would rise again unless Lee, an occult expert, digs up the body and inserts a silver bullet into Karen’s lifeless chest. Karen’s brother accepts this information as truth and travels to Transylvania with Lee to destroy Stirba, the werewolf queen.

What follows feels more like a typical vampire film, but the 80s aesthetic mixed with the old-school Eastern European vibes creates something really special. Oh, and Sybil Danning has nude werewolf sex every other scene, which is nicely truncated during the end credits so you don’t miss a moment. So you’ve got that going for you, which is nice.

The Howling III: Marsupials takes the franchise Down Under, where the shapeshifters evolved from Tasmanian tigers and have kangaroo pouches to carry their young. In a major vibe shift, the film feels more like a self-aware comedy than horror. It starts with a professor looking for lost Australian tribes, including a secluded group self-identified as "the flow,” which is literally wolf backwards.

The movie follows Jeroba, a young tribe member who flees the outback for Sydney’s big city lights. In a city park, a director (who looks just like Hitchcock) sees Jeroba’s “unique” look and immediately puts her in a horror film titled Shape Shifters Part 8. That’s right, Scream fans - The Howling did it first.

Anyway, the Australian government learns werewolves exist, so they hunt down the flow, which sets up the movie’s big conflict. The captured werewolves ultimately escaped and wreaked havoc all over Sydney. The ending takes place 15 years into the future, where humanity has accepted werewolves and established rights on their behalf. I like to think all subsequent The Howling movies take place during that 15-year period before III’s epilogue. That way, we get a mega-happy ending to the whole darn thing.

Clive Turner’s The Howling IV: The Original Nightmare is the first movie to adapt the book. I refer to Clive, the producer and writer of The Howling IV-VII, as if he were John Carpenter because he’s the key to understanding the direct-to-video The Howling movies (aka IV to VII). Put a pin in it for now.

Anywho, Marie Adams, our protagonist played by Romy Walthall, suffers a nervous breakdown after hallucinating horrific visions of wolf-like creatures (hmm). So, Marie does what any of us would do. She takes a sabbatical from work to unwind with her husband, Richard, in the sleepy, dreamlike village of Drago. Surprise, surprise - the town is a haven for werewolves. A werewolf bites Richard, which sets up the weirdest werewolf transformation on film. His skin melts off to reveal a werewolf underneath.

The Howling V: The Rebirth is more like The Howling III in that it’s another ridiculous deviation from the other movies. This time, seven strangers win a radio call-in contest, and the prize is a one-night stay inside a creepy old castle in Budapest (shot on location!). The locale gives off strong The Howling II vibes, but that’s where the comparisons end. In fact, this movie is more like an Agatha Christie whodunnit than a creature feature. Characters get picked off one-by-one until the end, when we learn the werewolf is Marylou Summers (played by Elizabeth She), one of the prize winners.

The Howling VI: The Freaks shakes up the formula yet again. This time, we follow a traveling freak show with werewolves and vampires in the act. The plot was pretty difficult to follow, but it’s a creepy carnival vibe; think Funhouse or Carnival of Souls. The debacle culminates in a battle between a werewolf and a vampire.

The Howling VII: New Moon Rising might be the most insane movie in the series. No one asked for this, but, for reasons only known to him, Clive Turner retroactively patches together a narrative connecting all the past direct-to-video entries to this one. Here’s how:

• The Howling VII mentions Drago, the town from The Howling IV.

• Marie from The Howling IV briefly appears to offer a priest and detective investigating animal mutilations some sage exposition, connecting IV to VII. Shortly thereafter, a werewolf kills her lol.

• The townsfolk find Marylou Summers’ corpse outside of town. She’s the werewolf in The Howling V. People suggest she may have died at the circus that passed through town weeks earlier, possibly connecting her to The Howling VI.

• The aforementioned priest frequently mentions the Budapest castle from The Howling V.

• In a huge twist, Cheryl, the mystery woman, is really Marylou Summers! That’s right, we get a Scooby-Doo ending! The body from before belonged to the real Cheryl.

To work around a tight budget, Clive patched a storyline together with old footage from the other movies and cast the actual townsfolk of Pioneertown, CA (where he shot the movie). To save on wardrobe costs, he asked everyone to come as they were. Clive saved a few more bucks by keeping all the werewolf attacks offscreen. And just wait until you see how he spent most of the budget.

Anyway, back to the plot - Ted stumbles into town and gets a job at the local country-western bar. He spends most of the movie chatting it up with the townsfolk and line-dancing. A few people die mysteriously off-screen. As a newcomer, Ted is the prime suspect.

Meanwhile, a detective works with a priest outside of Pioneertown to solve a mysterious series of brutal animal attacks. The priest tries to convince the cop that werewolves are real. He vomits out the plots of The Howling IV, V, and VI in excruciating detail as his evidence. We get more stock footage, too. The priest and the cop eventually meet Marie from the fourth movie. Marie vomits more exposition and dies off-screen. More exposition, too.

The film climaxes inside the country-western bar when we learn Cheryl, the film’s mystery woman, is actually Marylou Summers - the werewolf from The Howling V. Turns out she was behind all the killings. Marylou’s transformation needs to be seen to be believed. Check it out:

The film ends with a big country line-dance celebration inside the bar. Everyone is having a blast - it’s like the extended celebration scene in Return of the Jedi. Anyway, TV Guide called it a new low for the franchise.

Last, and certainly least, The Howling: Reborn cashes in on Twilight Fever by changing course yet again; this time into a teen melodrama with a CGI werewolf. Need I say more?

That’s a wrap on transformative vibez. Looking ahead, we’ve got the 4th or 5th annual Archie’s Awards followed by Hong Kong Vibez, a multi-part series starting with ‘zine 20. Expect The Archie’s in ‘zine 19 sooner rather than later! Maybe even this weekend?

Until next time,

Happy Watching!

Murray

I’m also debuting two brand new segments to replace new releases: 1) Analog Adventures and 2) SLIFF, Swish. The former honors the VHS and home video era, whereas the latter highlights two totally separate and unrelated experiences at both SLIFF 2025 (St. Louis International Film Festival) and a pre-pandemic Katy Perry concert. SLIFF, Swish will be a one-off.

Before we get started, I need to define the elements of a dancin’ vibe film. Any movie entering the CineVibez Fanzine Canon must be drenched in that special cinevibez style and pizzazz; that’s a given folks. A selection must also include one of the following elements to qualify for dancin’ vibez:

1. The film contains a memorable dance sequence (think Beetlejuice),

2. dance is central to the film’s plot (think Bring it On),

3. actors portray characters who are professional dancers (think Ballerina: A John Wick Story), or

4. actors portray characters who go undercover as professional dancers (think The Dancing Detective: A Deadly Tango).

The examples above are simply that - examples. They aren’t Canon; nor are masterpieces like The Red Shoes, Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Prom Night, All That Jazz, Moulin Rouge, & Magic Mike. While we’re at it, let’s filter out standard musicals - they don’t really fit the zine no. 17 vibe (musicals deserve their own issue). Today, we’re only after obscure, often unpolished films exemplifying that special cinevibez oomph and gumption. I want Slashdance, not Flashdance (although I love Flashdance).

Analog Adventures

You guys, this is my eleventh draft of Analog Adventures. Can you believe it? In the first draft, I highlighted fun movies from my personal collection of VHS tapes - classics like Ricki Lake’s cat detective noir and a christian workout video titled “Praise!”. And then Netflix bought WB and, suddenly, this segment transformed into a 25-point manifesto taking down the power structures of Hollywood. But I dunno, don’t you guys already know Netflix sucks? Do you really need me telling you that?

So, I went back to my first idea for draft #11, but with a little twist. Below, you will find a photograph of a stack of VHS tapes I found at the thrift store. All four share a common theme representative of next issue’s vibe. Hmm, wonder what it will be and, more importantly, will it remain relevant by the time its published? Tune in right here to find out!

You guys should already know everything about Gremlins and Prancer, but here’s a few fun facts about the other two movies:

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s one and only directing credit, Christmas in Connecticut, has a captivating tagline: “She’s hungry for ratings … he’s hungry for dinner …” I didn’t add the ellipses. The box cover includes helpful blurbs like, “Director Arnold Schwarzenegger cooks up a holiday hit!” Here’s the back of the box:

Lucky Stiff is another weird one with a high-profile director. Anthony Perkins directs this psychotic (pun-intended) tale about a Christmas dinner. While this one sounds unique, its mostly just fat jokes. Here’s the back of the box:

SLIFF, Swish

I always associate the start of awards season with the end of SLIFF, the St. Louis International Film Festival. The festival, now in its 34th year, usually shows award contenders a few months before they’re widely available. And this year was no different. I saw Sentimental Value, No Other Choice, Is This Thing On?, and Micro-Budget.

Sentimental Value: Funny and endearing, but the performances are the big selling point in this story about a father trying to reconnect with his daughters. Renate Reinsve blew me away (as always) as the lead daughter. She is by far one of the most exciting actresses working today. But if you want real movie magic, put her toe-to-toe with Stellan Skarsgård.

Sentimental Value shares a key theme with Is This Thing On?, in that both explore the different ways we struggle to communicate our feelings. Here, Skarsgard’s character, a film director, has to make a movie just to tell his daughter he loves her. Is This Thing On? is about a guy who works on his marital problems by signing up for open mic night at the Comedy Cellar. The turmoil in both stories could have been avoided with therapy, but then we wouldn’t have the movies.

Is This Thing On?: Speaking of which, Is This Thing On? is Bradley Cooper’s most accessible film yet. Funny, touching, and relatable in a lot of ways. And while this movie gives us nothing new (hello HBO’s Crashing), it is still expertly crafted. I highly recommend this one.

Micro-Budget: Lots of funny moments in this mockumentary-styled comedy about an idiot who writes, directs, acts in, and produces a shitty movie. Look, this flick is no Naked Gun but I appreciate the effort made. You may even have a winner if you shave off 30 minutes and tighten up that ending. The film crew, played by Mike Mitchell and John Gabrus, and the leading lady, played by Superstore’s Nichole Sakura, stand out in a very stacked cast.

No Other Choice: Save the best for last. Language barriers are no match for Park Chan-wook, who has gifted us with another fantastic film. The camerawork is really impressive, especially during scene transitions. I kinda loved how I was always a step behind the storytelling yet I rarely felt lost. No Other Choice is a special one. Ultimately, this is a timely, often funny story that is viscerally relatable. I mean, who hasn’t fantasized about taking out the competition?

Katy Perry Concert: I went to a Katy Perry show half a decade ago in St. Louis. Such a busy stage with giant flying lips and eyeballs. My main gripe was that its the tour where Perry shaved her head. I prefer long-haired Katy Perry - I just do. And TBPH, I’m only including this ‘story’ so I could rhyme something with SLIFF. Onward and upward!

Dancin’ Vibez

Memorable Dance Sequence(s) SubVibez

The Mask (1994): A cartoon come to life. The filmmakers intended to CGI the Mask’s facial expressions, but it was ultimately unnecessary because Jim Carrey could make the faces himself. A legend at his best, but this one also made Cameron Diaz an A-Lister. Her first appearance may take your breath away, but she is smokin’ in the dance sequence shown later (proud of that wordplay).

Return of the Living Dead (1985): Wow, I’m spoiling you guys. You’re getting John Henry Richardson and Lianna Quigley’s inaugural entries into the Canon in the same issue! What a wonderful world.

Quigley plays Trash, a punk rocker with short, bright red hair who performs a memorable striptease in a graveyard atop freshly buried corpses. At one point, Quigley slides two fingers between her legs as a bunch of reanimated, rotting zombies inch closer. Welcome RotLD to the CineVibez Canon. Watch a VHS transfer here or go to Tubi.

The Majorettes (1986): The Majorettes is a high-school slasher with more subplots than kills. Seriously, a new, unrelated plot detail gets introduced every minute. But the one constant in this movie is dancing, and oh boy - these gals love to dance. The most memorable dancing comes from the opening scene - it continues for what feels like hours but I know that’s not possible.

Titane (2021): Fit bodies under purple lights, dancing the night away to ‘Lighthouse’ by Future Islands. Sounds magical, but it needs something more. Maybe a car to fuck?

Babylon (2022): Fueled by cocaine and small town dreams, Margot Robbie dances the night away in a little red dress … for over thirty minutes. The best opening dance sequence in any film, ever. Elephants, producers, starlets, singers moving in unison. Just absolute perfection, especially Justin Hurwitz’s score.

Silence of the Lambs (1991): Who could forget Buffalo Bill dancing in his victims’ birthday suits? Need I say more?

Tammy & the T-Rex (1994): This one stars Denise Richards and the late, great Paul Walker as a couple of teens in love. Unfortunately, that love becomes more difficult to blossom once the male half of the couple turns into an animatronic tyrannosaurus rex. Yes, animatronic - not a real dinosaur. They want you to know the dinosaur is a robot that just happens to be shaped like a T-Rex. That fact is crucial to the story.

The film’s ending reveals Walker’s character is now a desktop PC. Tammy took his brain out of the dino robot and placed it in a PC in her bedroom. Then, she gave the computer a little striptease that caused him to short circuit … and the credits roll.

Frankenstein Island (1981): All-female tribes dancing around a pig roast is a time-honored tradition in exploitation cinema. Frankenstein Island is the most fun, but I love the Blood Island movies from the Philippines. Check out Brides of Blood and Love Goddesses of Blood Island if you’re curious. And you can watch Frankenstein Island right here.

Dance is Central to the Plot SubVibez

Xanadu (1980): A cocaine-fueled, neon light show that brings together Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly to conjure up an artist’s dream disco-skating rink. This film oozes joy and creativity while simultaneously forcing you to question reality and maybe your own sanity. Xanadu is the Alpha and Omega when it comes to dancin’ vibez. I promise all Barbie (2023) fans will love this movie more than words can describe.

Cafe Flesh (1982): I'm pretty sure the sex in this movie is unsimulated if there is such a word. It's also really hard to look away at this scifi porn-extravaganza. And to those who have it on their bucket list, you'll finally get to cross off “watch a guy dressed as a rat with a dick nose have lots of sex.”

Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984): Voyage of the Rock Aliens is as original as it gets. The film opens on a bunch of aliens inside a guitar-shaped spaceship. Their mission to find rock n’ roll takes the aliens to Pia Zadora, of all people, on Earth. Things get weird from there; the weirdest being a fascinating Ruth Gordon cameo. Check out the full movie right here.

Dance or Die (1987): This is a movie about a guy named Jason who has his hands full. He needs to prepare the dance troupe he coaches for a big show, kick a drug habit, and manage the fallout from his roommate’s murder … all at the same time! You can’t call this movie “good,” but it’s definitely something.

Nocturna, Granddaughter of Dracula (1979): An obscure movie, but its totally worth watching if you find it. Dracula’s granddaughter rebels against her family and runs off to New York where she falls in love with disco. Highlights include a dance orgy commenced by the power of music and a vampire watching the sun rise.

Killer Party (1986): A comedy horror centered on three sorority pledges who have to throw a big party after their initiation; and yea - there’s dancing at this party. The first two acts are your typical college co-ed comedies but the third act is a lot of fun. One of the girls gets possessed during the party and mayhem ensues.

Professional Dancers SubVibez

Murder Rock: Dancing Death (1984): I think ‘thrusting’ and ‘ungapatchka’ should never share a sentence, but some people disagree with me. Many The Substance reviews on Letterboxd reference ‘unnecessary and excessive thrusting,’ whatever the hell that means. If you wrote any of those reviews, I recommend you stay away from Murder Rock. Everyone else should click right here.

Evil Judgement (1984): You’ll see a lot of giallo films on the dancin’ vibez list, but Evil Judgement is the only one from Canada. And, oh boy, you’ll know this movie is from Canada - unnecessary, out of its way politeness is on full display. Oh - and the opening scene shows our final girl practicing moves in the dance studio. So yea, it qualifies. Watch for free right here.

Suspiria (1977): A giallo masterpiece - Part 1 of Argento’s Three Mothers Trilogy takes us to a prestigious ballet academy where a prospective student played by Jessica Harper finds herself immersed in a world of intrigue and terror. It goes without saying that the dance academy is not all it appears to be.

Luca’s 2018 remake feels like a wholly different movie, although it goes heavier on the dancing, including a very nasty scene with Mia Goth. Let’s include it in the Canon as a bonus.

X Trilogy: We could place this trilogy under any of the four subvibez All three movies include memorable dance sequences, whether it be Pearl’s dalliance with a scarecrow in Pearl or her bloody ballet moves in X. And don’t forget Maxine unknowingly dancing for her preacher father. Memorable sequences - check. We see Maxine dance in a strip club. Pro dancer - check. Maxine’s dad, undercover as the Night Stalker, is a strip club customer. Undercover dancer … eh good enough — check. Finally, the movie is about the efforts one will make to become a star. Basically a dancing theme - check. Let’s go with professional dancer subvibez to balance things out.

The Gore Gore Girls (1972): Gore Gore Girls isn’t just a clever title. You’re guaranteed two things here: dancing and gore - lots of gore. We’re mutilating eyeballs, slicing open heads, butts and throats, and, most cringe-inducing for me, we’re observing violent nipple play. Herschell Gordon Lewis, welcome to the Canon. BTW, I would normally recommend HGL’s boxed set from Arrow Video, but rumor has it that AGFA is working on a new restoration.

Showgirls (1995): I can call Showgirls, Paul Verhoeven’s masterpiece, a masterpiece and I bet you wouldn’t even wince. Would you? And how great is that? The past decade or so, it feels like we’ve been recategorizing ‘stinkers’ as respected cult classics. I think that’s just great. But, ya Showgirls is great - growing up, I had the biggest crush on Gina Gershon.

Undercover as Professional Dancers SubVibez

Slashdance (1989): A delightfully weird slasher with a fascinating cast of characters, including some GLOW wrestlers and John Henry Richardson. Slashdance is the first John Henry Richardson film to enter the Canon. I assure you, it will not be his last.

Anyway, Slashdance sees Detective Tori Raines go undercover to find a killer who is murdering a bunch of ladies auditioning for a musical. Raines totally reminded me of another Tori - Tori Scott (played by Leanna Creel), the gal who’s family owned the summer resort in Saved by the Bell. Click here to watch Slashdance for free.

Stripped to Kill (1987): I absolutely love this movie, a real classic in the world of undercover strippers. This erotic thriller from the late eighties stars Kay Lenz as a cop spending too much time undercover at a strip club. Has the lure of the spotlight taken control, or is our leading lady just that committed to finding our killer. This movie kinda takes a Cruising (1980) turn in that her partner questions whether Lenz is in too deep. The pole’s pull is just too strong.

Dance with Death (1992): A reporter goes undercover to find the perp responsible for the murder of a handful of strippers. Let me tell you, this sexy young wannabe-gumshoe will go to any length to score the story. Our femme fatale’s boss in the newsroom looks like a thin Frasier Crane. Anyway he keeps an eye on things from his own booth at the club.

The Encore

That’s a wrap on dancin’ vibez. I’ve already begun work on zine 18, which will hopefully reach your inboxes before Christmas. If you haven’t figured it out yet, the theme is … Christmaz Vibez, duh. I have a growing list of holiday films I need to watch - starting with Elves (1988). Fortunately, I have no plans this weekend.

A quick plug for Jonathon Ytreberg’s The Oscar Project - I recently guested on his podcast to talk about The Green Goddess, a super racist but fun movie! Give it a listen here! And don't forget to subscribe to Jonathon’s substack here!

Christmas Vibes up next!

Until Next Time,

Happy Watching Everybody!

Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe. Boy oh boy, have I got a treat for you today. In addition to Satanic Vibez Part III: Satan’s Minions, you’re getting Satanic Vibez Part IV: Faustian Bargains. That’s right, two sub-vibez for the price of one! And next issue, I’m recommending a whole troupe of unique, toe-tapping flicks with that unmistakable, yet somehow undefinable, cinevibez style. Be sure to dust off your tap shoes for Dancin’ Vibez - coming to your inbox soon!

But first, we need to close out Satanic Vibez. Any movie entering the CineVibez Fanzine Canon must have that aforementioned special cinevibez style and pizzazz. That’s obvious. To enter the canon as a Satanic vibe specifically, a movie must also include one of the following elements:

For Satan’s Minions:

1. a character is an actual demon, or

2. a character works for Satan or a stand-in or representative of Satan

And finally, any films entering the canon as a Faustian bargain must include both of the following elements:

1. a contractual agreement between a character and Satan or a stand-in or representative of Satan is entered into, AND;

2. the agreement has unintended consequences

One final thought before we start rolling … going forward, one vibe = one ‘zine. All this subpart bullshit keeps dragging me down. It’s time to get back to basics. Dancin’ Vibez will still break down into subparts but you’ll get all of them in one email. Onto new releases!

New Releases

Superman: Superman is a good movie. Corenswet was born for this role. I enjoyed how he played the dual roles of our titular hero — from a bumbling, dopey Clark Kent to a disgustingly optimistic Superman. And Rachel Brosnahan had that “seasoned reporter who isn’t taking anyone’s shit” kinda vibe - you know, kinda like Margot Kidder.

Now combine the two actors and - whoa holy smokes! Va-va-voom! We’ve got chemistry! As long as James Gunn can maintain this balance between cartoonish comedy and sincerity, I see these two actors leading the franchise for many years to come. That’s fine by me.

Eddington: Eddington is the pandemic-era action comedy audiences have been begging for. In a way, this movie shares a lot of DNA with Aster’s other film Beau is Afraid; but this time around, Aster uncovers our collective anxieties as opposed to his own fears (like fucking Parker Posey to death). The result is a very funny, well-shot movie set in New Mexico during the pandemic. Just in case, tho, you may want to pop a valium before pressing play.

Weapons: This is Zach Kregger’s newest effort - he’s the guy who did Barbarian. I didn’t mind the script, although the dialogue is a little too hip and modern for my tastes. The cinematography has that contemporary digital glaze covering every shot as well. Meh.

The Naked Gun (2025): I watched Naked Gun with a packed crowd two weeks into its run. And ya know what? An engaged, responsive audience really makes a difference when it comes to comedies. I was by myself, but this comedy crowd welcomed me with open arms. I was on a first-name basis with a lady sitting to me before the first trailer played. That doesn’t happen when you see The Zone of Interest. Anyway, I absolutely loved this movie. The Lonely Island guys can do no wrong.

The Toxic Avenger (2025): Thirty-two days before I arrived on this planet, Melvin Junko fell into a vat of toxic chemicals, causing him to transform into the hero known as the Toxic Avenger. Troma followed up with three (now four) sequels, a Saturday morning cartoon, spinoffs, comic books, toys, merch and much, much more. Today, Troma President Lloyd Kaufmann still drags Toxie to conventions and theaters just to make a few bucks.

I always assumed Troma would release another Toxic Avenger sequel, but never with wide theatrical distribution. So it was pretty exciting to see a new one in 2025, especially since it was good! It’s not as extreme as past Troma films, but that’s probably a wise decision. The vibes felt similar to something like Guardians of the Galaxy (directed by Troma alum James Gunn).

One Battle After Another (2025): A masterpiece that is just as entertaining as it is timely and relevant. I wanted to watch again as soon as the credits rolled. Don’t wait to watch this movie on streaming or VOD. Don’t even wait for the 4K. Experience OBAA at the movie theater on the biggest screen they offer.

The Smashing Machine (2025): Benny’s direction was fine. I liked how he shot the fights from behind the ropes. The Rock suspended my disbelief a few times, although I don’t know if it deserves an Oscar nomination. I really wish Emily Blunt stopped taking these roles, but its not like she ruined the movie.

The script ruined the movie. There’s zero tension - its just the Rock meandering around and trying not to get mad.

Good Boy (2025): Adorable concept. A dog visits a haunted cabin with his human. The only problem is the human doesn’t see what our pup sees. Yes, I checked Does the Dog Die? before seeing this movie.

The Woman in the Yard (2025): The Babadook (2014) was better.

Satanic Vibez Parts III & IV

For a while, I wondered if you guys would forget I promised to break Satanic Vibez into four subparts. But no matter - I persist and push forward for you, the reader. And today, we close the necronomicon on Satanic Vibez with Satan’s Minions and Faustian Bargains:

Part III: Satan’s Minions

First up, Part III: Satan’s Minions, where a central character is 1) a demon, cult member, business associate, or relative of Satan or 2) anyone who works for or on behalf of the Devil. Witches and warlocks do not count. Nor do vampires (one exception).

Dark Angel: The Ascent (1994): Albert Pyon movies usually trade off big budgets for even bigger imaginations. Take Dark Angel, for example, which is a coming-of-age romantic fantasy about the love between a man and a demon. The film is structured like The Little Mermaid. It opens in Hell where we see the Dark Angel pining for the surface world. In Act II, she reaches the surface world and meets her Prince Charming. And of course, we learn Dark Angel will die if she stays on Earth in Act III. I won’t spoil the ending, but I love this sleazy, breezy and predictable movie I remember renting on VHS from Hollywood Video.

Demons (1985): Damien Chazelle’s Babylon (2022) is the final word on movies about movies, but a close second goes to Lamberto Bava’s Demons, where the demons on-screen escape into a real world cinema by possessing the audience. It’s as awesome as it sounds. I mean a freaking helicopter lands inside the theater (see above).

Girlfriend from Hell (1989): A demon possesses a high-school wallflower to feed off the souls of her classmates (via sex, of course). Fortunately, Bobby from Twin Peaks, known here as God’s demon hunter and the inventor of the condom, is hot on her trail. You may find this VHS staple cheesy and sophomoric, but Girlfriend from Hell walked so Jennifer’s Body could run.

Little Nicky (2000): Any movie that casts Rodney Dangerfield as Lucifer automatically enters the CineVibez Canon. And, look I’m not delusional. I know I can’t persuade naysayers to revisit Little Nicky, but maybe Roger Ebert can. He gave Little Nicky 2.5 out of 4 stars, saying “actually pretty good—the best Sandler movie to date” You read that right - the best Sandler movie to date.

Child’s Play (1988): Charles Lee Ray’s experience in voodoo and occultism came in handy while bleeding out from a gunshot wound in a toy store. Via an incantation he learned from a witch doctor, Charles invoked Satan’s help to transfer his mind into a Chucky doll … and the rest, as they say, is history. Welcome to the canon, Chucky.

Witchboard (1986): I enjoy a sincere satanic panic movie - especially when a love triangle is unnecessarily thrown into the mix. In Witchboard, a stand-in for the orange buffoon brings a Ouija board to his ex-girlfriend’s house party to introduce everyone to a little dead boy named David. The ex-girlfriend obsesses over David and cannot stop chatting with him (typical teen behavior). Too bad David is really Malfeitor, a demonic entity hellbent on crossing over by way of possession. The ensuing mayhem is a wild, chaotic and totally 80s.

Fallen (1998): This one made the VHS rotation regularly growing up. Azazel, a body hopping demon, torments Denzel for two hours. This movie pops into my head whenever I hear the Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil.

The Evil Dead (1981): Nothing good ever happens in an isolated cabin in the woods. Ash, played by Bruce Campbell, learns this the hard way. The Evil Dead is 90 minutes of ghouls and demons beating the shit out of Bruce Campbell. It’s a $250,000 practical effects masterpiece.

Evil Dead 2 (1987): The Evil Dead turned up to eleven.

Part IV: Faustian Bargains

The final subpart to Satanic Vibez is here. A movie qualifies as long as there is an agreement with Satan or a stand-in for Satan that subsequently causes unintended consequences. Once again, I’m avoiding the classics to bring you more obscure selections. That means no Rosemary’s Baby nor Damn Yankees.

The Devil’s Advocate (1997): Faust in a modern law-firm setting. I’m an attorney for my side-gig and the choices Keanu agonized over didn’t seem that serious. I’m pretty sure I do something similar every day for much, much less money. I haven’t even met Charlize Theron for heck’s sake.

Spawn (1997): I have a strange affinity for Spawn. Despite never having read the comic, I learned a lot of Spawn lore in the late 90s. Todd McFarlene based a character on Tony Twist, a defenseman for the St. Louis Blues, my hometown hockey team. Tony didn’t like the homage.

You may remember the lawsuit if you have an incredible memory or if you’re from St. Louis. The national news probably covered it for a day, but our hometown station hoped to turn the story into a Pulitzer. It stayed in the headlines for months.

A few years later, McFarlane bought St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire’s 70th home run ball for 2.6 million dollars, bringing him back into the local news. This guy is so obsessed with my city - it’s kinda creepy.

Anyway, I saw Spawn after all that local hubbub about McFarlane. A demon offers Al Simmons, a dead marine, another shot at life if and only if he commands Satan’s army during the upcoming Apocalypse. Simmons agrees so he can see his wife again. Unfortunately, she’s already moved on and remarried. All the elements have been met.

Angel Heart (1987): What a great movie with a stacked cast. Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet are on fire throughout the whole film, which follows Rourke’s character, a private investigator, as he works a case on behalf of a wealthy client played by Robert De Niro. I don’t think I should tell you much more, but I assure you I placed it in the right category. Oh and Lisa Bonet has one of the hottest scenes I’ve ever seen on celluloid.

Longlegs: I’m really enjoying Nic Cage’s late-stage renaissance, which is seemingly fueled by self-awareness. While it makes sense to start this new chapter at Mandy (2018) or even Pig (2021), I argue it started with Larry Charles’ Army of One. I recently watched the director’s cut on YouTube of all places - Cage is fantastic in it.

Anywho, Longlegs is another stop on the Cage Renaissance Tour. He loses himself in the character of Longlegs, who Director Oz Perkins (Anthony Perkins’ son) described as a loser who never left his parent’s basement. Per Perkins, that’s the type of guy who succumbs to Satan’s manipulation. He’s just an anti-social, personality disordered loser who is still listening to T-Rex on vinyl. One could argue the film contains a second contractual agreement between Satan and another character, but I don’t like spoiling modern films. You’ll see it.

The Mephisto Waltz: You guys, Mephisto Waltz is my favorite movie with a Faustian bargain. Alan Alda plays Myles, a pianist who never hit the big time. Now later in life, he is a music journalist who gets an interview with a guy named Duncan, the greatest pianist who ever lived. Over time, Duncan and his wife infiltrate Myles’ personal life and marriage to his wife Paula, who is played by Jacqueline Bissett. As the relationship strengthens, Myles’ piano skills begin to improve substantially. He’s also acting a little weird … What follows is more twists and turns than one of those twisty straws from 7-11.

Bedazzled (2000): In 2000, I was a huge fan of both Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley. The latter likely due to her stellar performance in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. The former because of Fraser’s entire filmography. Bedazzled is probably the most straightforward interpretation of Faust on this list.

When the Devil overhears Fraser wishing he could date a coworker, she seizes the opportunity and draws up a contract: seven wishes in exchange for your soul. Fraser gladly signs at the dotted line to start making wishes that make him look more desirable to his crush. Of course, everything eventually goes disastrously wrong.

Late Night with the Devil (2024): David Dastmalchian’s career trajectory really interests me. He suffered from michael jackson disease (vitiligo, not pedophilia) at a young age, which subjected him to relentless bullying in school. That probs contributed to his five-year long heroin addiction. Yet, through it all, Dastmalchian persevered - he kicked the drug habit and became a deep-sea fisherman in Alaska. And eventually, he found his way to Hollywood.

Once under LA’s yellow sun, David got the opportunity of a lifetime - a small role on Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight. Shortly thereafter, Denis Villeneuve cast him in Prisoners. Not a bad start for the new guy.

Anyway, Dastmalchian loves all things dark and macabre, and I suspect LNwtD was a passion project for him. I don’t recall any direct references to contractual agreements with Satan but it is heavily implied.

Sinners (2025): Throughout the film, the characters allude to a Faustian bargain between the Devil and Robert Johnson, where Johnson exchanged his soul for musical talent. That’s sufficient for our purposes. And besides, a central theme of the film concerns a similar idea of temptation. The vampires offer party-goers eternal life in exchange for a little sip of blood. But what the vampires take is essentially an individual’s essence or identity. That let Coogler to explore generational pain and appropriation in a pretty fun way.

Conclusion

Well, we made it. It’s closing time. One vibe ends so another can begin.

By the way, Fanzine No. 17 is nearly finished - I may even send it out early because I can barely contain my excitement. I hope you guys will like it - a lot of my dancin’ vibe recs are obscure, including a few movies logged by less than 100 people on letterboxd. So fun.

Also next issue, you’ll notice the new releases section is missing. I’m going to try something different - let me know if you like it.

Until next time, happy watching!

Murray

Today’s new releases go back to April and there’s a pretty big backlog, so you’re only getting short capsule reviews. After that is the moment you’ve all been waiting for - Part II of The CineVibez Fanzine Film Guide Series: Satanic Vibez. Part II inducts 25 of the weirdest, most obscure satanic cult movies into the CineVibez Canon.

By the way, the CineVibez Canon is something new. Zine #14 mentioned a CineVibez Stamp of Approval, which is my way of saying the movies I recommend share core values celebrated at CineVibez HQ (core values to be established later). A great idea in theory, but stamp-making is a highly technical craft I couldn’t crack. So, instead, we’re going to develop a new film canon. Subscribe below FOR FREE to see if my idea sticks.

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Now, onto new releases!

New Releases

F1

The racing sequences were excellent and had me on the edge of my seat. Brad Pitt was as charming as ever. The supporting cast around him gazed into his eyes while daydreaming as anyone should. That's not my problem with this movie. The onslaught of advertisements in the F1-verse could be interpreted as a way to differentiate Pitt's character from the F1 world - so it's not even that.

My problem with this movie is that disgusting glossy shine new movies have. David Cronenberg was right about this new digital look being a choice. The Surfer (see below) shot on digital but looks lovely. I’m beginning to think filmmakers choose this gross shiny look. It’s a bad choice if I’m right. But don’t skip this one. It’s fun.

28 Years Later

Danny Boyle’s triumphant return to his British wasteland first revealed in 28 Days Later had me in tears. Yea its a zombie movie, but its also a beautiful film about the inevitability of death. Boyle told his cinematographer to avoid perfection and make the shots a little messy. The result is the most beautiful zombie movie I’ve seen. Highly recommended.

The Phoenician Scheme

Whether it be excessive output, an easy to mimic aesthetic, disinterest in Asteroid City (a position I disagree with), or the $350 price-tag on the new Criterion boxed set, I’m feeling Wes Anderson fatigue. I still enjoy his films, but I’d like to see him start something new, totally from scratch. With that being said, The Phoenician Scheme is a fun movie. As someone actually diagnosed with OCD (unlike you posers on TikTok), I appreciate the way Anderson frames and plots his films. The introductions by order of appearance was especially pleasing.

Think The Life Aquatic mixed with Royal Tenenbaums - or more aptly Royal Tenenbaum goes on a Steve Zissou-like adventure. Zsa-Zsa Korda shares a lot of characteristics with those two. All three actors give off that tired, weary look so well. Go see The Phoenician Scheme, but wait to get a used copy of that new Criterion set.

Another Simple Favor

Next up, Another Simple Favor - the newest stop on Blake Lively’s attention seeking tour. I enjoyed A Simple Favor for what it was, but we didn’t need another … simple favor. And sure enough, this movie is a mess with nothing to say - much like the rest of Paul Feig’s filmography. Blake Lively’s presence doesn’t help this movie; in fact, she’s a distraction. Skip it.

Thunderbolts* (New Avengers)

Another Marvel came out, meaning we get more journalists asking talented filmmakers if a Marvel is art. Scorsese likens them to theme parks. Villeneuve dismisses them as copy-pastes of older Marvels. The first “wave” of Marvels ripped off different, established genre films we already knew and loved - much like a Trojan horse. Guess what. You like heist movies, not Ant-Man. You like action-packed political thrillers, not Captain America. The Hulk? Just another creature-feature ya big dummy.

Thunderbolts is no different. This time, the rip-off du-jour is ‘Blumhouse trauma’ - a relatively new sub-genre popularized by Jason Blum’s production company. Gen Z loves that stuff. Blumhouse movies rely on supernatural threats or psychological terror as substitutes for more relatable traumatic experiences. For example,The Invisible Man is an allegory on gaslighting.

I’m not saying Blumhouse movies are subtle, but the team behind Thunderbolts must think audiences are really dumb. The villain’s name is the Void - he represents a literal void, as in the personification of feelings of emptiness and worthlessness. In the words of Ariana Grande, “Thank you, next.”

The Friend

In The Friend, Naomi Watts adopts an adorable Great Dane named Apollo when his original owner (played by Bill Murray) dies. The film’s conflict is unintentionally hilarious: Watts lives in a rent-controlled NYC apartment and she’s violating the terms of her lease. She’d be insane to give a rent-controlled apartment up, but this dog looks so damn cute when he’s depressed. We’ve got a real Sophie’s Choice: keep the dog or the rent-controlled apartment.

The Friend makes a mistake with the setting; it’s a social circle of pretentious writers. Not the most warm and fuzzy group for a movie about a cute dog, but you can’t win ‘em all. Watch it on a rainy afternoon.

Mission Impossible - Final Reckoning

Final Reckoning is three-hours of nonsensical exposition interspersed with mind-blowing stunts. Between the exposition and strained connections to the earlier movies, Tom Cruise jumps, dives, and flies his way around the world to stop AI from taking over Hollywood the world’s nuclear arsenal. Don’t ask me how, but this mess of a movie works pretty well.

The exposition borders on absurdity at times, but the cast delivers their dialogue in a nicely paced cadence. Plus - nobody beats Tramell Tillman’s line delivery - maybe the best performance in the movie. Anywho, stop reading this and go find the biggest screen in town -- preferably glorious IMAX with Dolby sound - to watch Hollywood’s last movie star risk his life for your entertainment.

The Surfer

Arkadian Cinema & Bar hosts a monthly movie night called Drinkolas Cage where the staff pairs a random Nicholas Cage movie with an equally random drinking game. Makes sense for the star of Vampire’s Kiss, but not necessarily the guy who did Pig. The Surfer, Cage’s newest Ozploitation psychological thriller, finds a nice balance between his two extremes. His performance reminds me of a bomb squad’s controlled explosion - a contained mess.

Cage portrays the Surfer as a man imprisoned by nostalgia. He divorced his wife, but still hopes to fix the relationship. No one directly says it, but it clearly pains the ex-wife and son to watch our titular surfer refuse to accept reality. I loved this movie - it was well shot (fish-eye lens fans rejoice!) and looked great, too. It’s a good example of an aesthetically pleasing shot-on-digital film.

Sinners

Next up is Sinners - a weird western directed by Ryan Coogler. Set in the 1930s in the Mississippi Delta, twin brothers, both played by Michael B. Jordan, come home after spending some time working with the Chicago mob. They use the money earned to purchase a barn they plan to retrofit into a bar/dance hall. Given the setting, you’d be right to think white people will stand in the way, but this villain’s skin is paler than usual. What follows is a genre-mashup tour-de-force, doing exactly what a genre film should do - respect past films and tropes while, at the same time, subverting audience expectations with new ideas moving the genre forward.

Sinners shares DNA with John Carpenter’s Assault on Precinct 13 and The Thing, Robert Rodriguez’s The Faculty, Phillip Kaufman’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Quentin Tarantino’s entire filmography. You should definitely Sinners, my favorite 2025 release.

The Shrouds

David Cronenberg’s newest film borders on experimental, but it’s a fascinating watch nevertheless. Vincent Cassel plays a guy mourning his wife’s death by watching a video feed of her decaying body via an app he invented. Hmm.

Among other things, the film questions whether Cassel’s character is a devoted husband in mourning or just kinda kinky. I think the question is definitively answered in a very funny way. Its even more wild when you realize Cassel essentially plays an avatar for Cronenberg (who just lost his wife).

Cronenberg also spends time exploring the conspiracy theories we create to make our lives and the lives of loved ones more meaningful. In my side-gig as a personal injury defense lawyer, I see it all the time. This is a very unique study on one’s inability to accept the concept of death. I liked The Shrouds, but its certainly an acquired taste.

Fight or Flight

Here is your newest reminder that Josh Hartnett is a bright, shining star. This movie is a really fun action spectacle - think Smokin’ Aces on an airplane. Hartnett plays a blacklisted assassin who went off the grid after some personal issues. The cause of those issues reenters his life to request help bringing in a security asset. The only problem is a high bounty on the asset’s head brought all the world’s greatest assassins on the same plane. What ensues is a lot of action in the center aisle. Action fans will love it, especially the Hartnett performance. General audiences may find this movie annoying.

Exorcism & Possession Addendum:

Prince of Darkness - I initially categorized John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness as a Satanic Cult movie, but those homeless folks didn’t have a choice. They were possessed by the green goo! I have no choice but to include Prince of Darkness as the 25th Exorcism & Possession film in the CineVibez Canon.

Satanic Cults

Now for the main event! Let’s welcome the following films into the CineVibez Canon. Movies about worshipers of Satan and practitioners of the occult go as far back as 1922 with movies like Haxan and Nosferatu. However, my focus is on the post 1960s free-love backlash and the subsequent hysteria in the 1980s-90s known as Satanic Panic. I also include some modern 21st Century films.

The Satanist (1968): In the 1960s, the counter-culture movement adopted satanism as its own, but that version is more like a kinky form of paganism. I think it adds a little mystique to swinging.

Here, new neighbors posing as intellectuals show a straight-laced couple a devilishly good time. It leads to a horny black mass with straight-laced wife on the altar. The cult forces the husband to watch as each member “inducts” the wife into the club. The only dialogue is husband’s narration, which gives the movie a National Geographic feel to it. Stay for the twist ending.

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The Devil Rides Out (1968): This Hammer film takes a more classical approach to satanism. Here, we’ve got a clear-cut battle between good and evil that plays out really well. This movie has it all - satanic circles, cult leaders, sacrifices, and a man-goat (who might be Satan himself). The surprising twist? Christopher Lee plays the good guy!

I Drink Your Blood (1970): Starring the late, great Bhaskar, a man known more for folk Indian dancing than acting. In fact, his only credit is I Drink Your Blood. The film opens in a small town with the arrival of a group of hippie cosplaying as a satanic cult. The locals get a little nervous about the new guests. A tubby little boy notices the town’s anxiety, so he devises a plan to drive the cult out of town by adding a new ingredient to his mom’s famous meat pies. I’ll stop there.

The Brotherhood of Satan (1970): This movie can get confusing at times, but it concerns a small California town run by a group of elderly satanists. They kidnap children after murdering their parents to transfer their souls into younger, healthier bodies. It reflects the society’s growing fear of satanism post Charles Manson.

Werewolves on Wheels (1971): A wild battle between a satanic cult and biker gang eventually turns into a creature feature. This is what the film going experience is all about.

The Devils (1971): This Ken Russell film starring Vanessa Redgrave and Oliver Reed. Redgrave’s performance is astounding. She plays a nun who becomes obsessed with Reed’s priest who is accused of practicing satanism. This film is a phenomenal masterpiece that honestly might be too good for the CineVibez Canon. It’s going in anyway.

All the Colors of the Dark (1972): A stylish satanic cult nightmare turned into reality directed by Sergio Martino, a favorite at CineVibez HQ. Edwige Fenech demands your attention when she graces the screen, and her performance in All the Colors of the Dark is no exception. In fact, I’d argue this film is her greatest work.

Enter the Devil (1972): Overtly racist and xenophobic, but I think the cast and crew felt like they’re being progressive. That adds some comedy to this dull weird western about an investigation into a Mexican satanic cult.

Necromancy (1972): This film is about a town run by Satanic cult led by Orson Welles, but all you need to know is that it includes lines like this one: “Hey do you know what I found in this doll’s pocket? Fingernail clippings. Isn’t that strange to put fingernail clippings in doll’s pocket?” Twin Peaks Sheriff Harry S. Truman is in the cast!

Legacy of Satan (1974): This film directed by the guy who made Deep Throat mostly consists of a bunch of horny little freaks get off on sucking each other’s blood. The best part of the movie is its 70 minute running time, but it includes a lot of fun, crazy sequences including a great opening black mass and plot defying monster appearance. The synth score isn’t bad either.

Satan’s Children (1975) - Bobby doesn’t like his living situation. His dad’s always on his back and his stepsister keeps picking on him. This leads Bobby to a diner full of sexual predators. One tricks him into going home with him, but he’s eventually saved and brought in by a local satanic cult. This is one of the weirdest fucking movies you’ll ever see. I own it on blu-ray.

Satan’s Cheerleaders (1977): A really fun movie about high-school janitor who kidnaps the school’s cheerleaders to perform a virgin sacrifice. Turns out, he got a little more than he bargained for.

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Satan’s Blood (1978): This satanic cult movies shares a lot of DNA with the Danish horror film, Speak No Evil. Sometimes, its okay to be rude.

Alison’s Birthday (1981): This Ozploitation classic depicts the day’s leading up to the titular Alison’s 19th birthday. Alison’s friends and family act weird, almost like they’re keeping secrets from her. Eventually, they’re revealed to be a satanic cult planning a ritual on Alison’s birthday to swap souls with a demonic entity. One cult member looks like an adorable koala bear.

Trick or Treat (1986): You could almost consider this a prequel to Longlegs. It’s about a loner kid in high-school who hears hidden messages by playing vinyl from his favorite deceased rock star backward. While its not overtly about satanic cults, its a direct response to the insanity of Satanic Panic.

Through the Fire (1988): One of the neon nightmares homaged in MaXXXine. This one concerns a desperate woman who seeks help from a cop to find her missing sister. The only clue is a medallion used by Satanic Cults.

The Burbs (1989): Joe Dante’s action comedy stars Tom Hanks as a guy who’s got it all - a nice house in the suburbs, a lovely wife and kids, and friendly neighbors. All that success frees up our family man to spy on his neighbors and think of wild conspiracy theories about a new, mysterious neighbor - is he misunderstood or a satanist? Great performances by Rick Ducommun and Bruce Dern.

The Ninth Gate (1999): Roman Polanski’s satanic cult film that re-imagines satanic cult members as avid book collectors. It’s unintentionally funny.

End of Days (1999): Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a man who lost his faith in God as he battles a satanic cult dead-set on resurrecting Satan at the turn of the millennium. It’s not a great movie, but there are some wild action sequences. Arnold’s acting is fun, as always.

The Babysitter (2016): Fuck Netflix, but this is a pretty fun teen comedy/horror mashup starring the always lovely Samara Weaving. This movie gives off strong Almost Famous vibes. Weaving’s babysitter drugs the kid she’s watching so she can conduct her black mass in peace. Unfortunately, the kid spit out his drink and saw the whole thing.

Drive Angry (2011): A confusing, undecipherable mess about a man who escapes the pits of Hell to get revenge on the satanic cult leader who sent him there. There’s a scene where Nicholas Cage has a mid-coitus shootout with a gang of cult members.

Satanic Panic (2019): In this dark comedy, a satanic cult lucks out when they order pizza for their upcoming black mass. Turns out the pizza delivery girl is a virgin, which is exactly what this cult needs.

MaXXXine (2023): The conclusion to Ti West’s X trilogy is a neon nightmare homaging (or spoofing) 1980s erotic thrillers like Angel or anything by DePalma, our most treasured and horniest student of Hitchcock. While this movie isn’t overtly satanic, it plays off the hysteria created by Satanic Panic. For that reason, it makes the cut.

Longlegs (2024): Longlegs plays out more like a 90’s Fincher movie, although it includes a psychic connection horror trope you’d often see in the 1970s and 80s. In the movie, Longlegs made his own little satanic cult of members who help him bring Satan into the homes of unsuspecting victims.

28 Years Later (2025): Adding 28 Years Later: Part I to satanic cult vibez is a bold choice, but I don’t see much of a difference between a satanic cult and a group of guys dressed as Jimmy Saville wearing upside down crosses. Can’t wait for Nia DeCosta’s sequel.

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Conclusion

This one took a while, so I appreciate your patience. Up next, CineVibez Fanzine #16 continues Satanic Vibez with Part III: Satan’s Minions. We’ll cover vampires, witches, Succubi, and Warlocks, among other supernatural followers of the devil.

On August 15, you can find me on The Oscar Project, a podcast about Oscar-nominated films by Jonathan Ytreberg. We discuss Cecil B. Demille’s Dynamite from 1929 - it was a good movie and a great conversation. I hope you guys listen.

Satanic Vibez closes out with Faustian Bargains in #17. After that, we start a new Vibe! I’m still thinking Ozploitation, but Hong Kong is right around the corner.

I’ll keep trying to get a consistent publishing schedule but the side-gig gets overwhelming at times. Although - if you think about it - money might motivate me to publish more often. I’m too inconsistent to charge you a monthly fee, so I’ll just leave this QR code here and you can do what you want with it:

Until next time, Happy Watching and have a great 4th of July.

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Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe … even films featuring Ol’ Scratch himself. That’s right, I’m putting satanic vibez under the microscope today. It’s a subject near and dear to me, as subscribers to my old newsletter, Arch Nemesis, may recall. For everyone else, the following link should still work:

Once again, I’m enlisting my favorite troublemaker to kick off a new ongoing series (temporarily) titled CineVibez HQ Presents: The CineVibez Film Guide Series. Why Satan? Well, he’s kinda like Hollywood royalty. As Nicholas Schreck said in The Satanic Screen, “the Devil has always been a celebrated patron of the arts.” In fact, La Manoir due Diable (1896), one of the first narrative films ever made, included the Devil as a character. And, as you’ll soon see, that certainly wasn’t his last appearance.

But first, I need to take a few steps back to explain this series. Each month (or so), I’ll select a new topic and recommend applicable cinevibez-approved films. Cinevibez-approved films are the strangest, most obscure movies out there. It’s hard to come up with a singular definition, but as “Life of the Party” and Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once said about porno, “I know it when I see it.” By Vol. 3 or 4, you’ll know a cinevibez-approved film when you see it.

Cinevibez-approved films don’t include the classics or any totemic selections on the subject du-jour; so that means no Nosferatu, Faust, Rosemary’s Baby, nor The Exorcist. I’m not going to add anything special to what’s already out there.

To milk this idea for all its worth, I’ll break the topics down by subgenre. Here are the subgenres for volume 1.

I. Exorcism & Possession

II. Satanic Cults

III. Satan’s Minions

IV. Faustian Bargains

I’m thinking one newsletter will equal the recommendations from one subgenre, so volume 1: satanic vibez will come to you in four separate emails spread over a month. Sounds fun, right??

Next month, I’m republishing an expanded and reformatted edition of my body horror newsletter as volume 2 of this series. I have some ideas for volume 3; its narrowed down to the following topics:

• Hong Kong Black Magic

• Erotic Thrillers

• I Love New York (gritty New York stylized filmmaking - think Scorsese and anything playing on 42nd St)

• The City of Angels (the opposite of New York)

Let me know your favorite in the comments (it will have no impact on my decision)!

New Releases

First, three new releases!

Opus (2025) nearly passed me by, but I watched it late last week. I’m glad I did. If you don’t know, Opus stars Ayo Edebiri as a cub reporter at a magazine like The Rolling Stone. Under mysterious circumstances, Ayo receives an invitation to a reclusive pop star’s new album release party … or something. John Malkovich plays the pop star like a psychopathic David Bowie or Prince.

Dozens of people wearing the same blue jumpsuits greet Ayo and a bunch of other critics on Malkovich’s property. These little weirdos seem self-sustainable, happy, and healthy, but there is definitely something sinister afoot.

Ultimately, Opus shows us what Waco would’ve been like if Taylor Swift replaced David Koresh. It’s worth a watch.

Next, we’ve got:

Drop (2025) is a new Christopher Langdon (Happy Death Day) thriller produced by Blumhouse. We see the film through the eyes of Meghann Fahy’s Violet, a single mother on a dinner date with the homeless guy from This Ends with Us, now gainfully employed. As soon as they sit down, airdrops start dinging Violet’s phone. For the uninitiated, airdrops are ways to connect to nearby cell phones to pass around memes and pictures. That weird photo you got at the airport? That’s an airdrop.

The thing about airdrops is that they only reveal your username, which can be anything. Same with a profile picture. Anyway, Violet eventually reads these messages and learns that the airdropper’s pal is holding her son hostage at home. He threatens to kill the kid if Violet fails to follow his instructions.

The elevator pitch sounds pretty fun, right? Almost like a modern Hitchcock movie, but the overstuffed script’s reliance on the Blumhouse “trauma” trope is its downfall. That’s where a protagonist has unresolved general trauma - like domestic violence, child abuse, or whatever. Honestly, the specifics don’t matter because the movie won’t show you how the trauma affects the protagonist in any meaningful way. Instead, the trope sets up an easy resolution for the ending by making the protagonist confront the scary thing and grow as a result, like they finally overcame their trauma. Unfortunately, buzzwords in the DSM-V don’t create suspense. Meaningless dribble … skip Drop.

Finally, let’s talk about:

Warfare (2025) is Alex Garland’s second war film in a matter of months, but there’s not a reporter in sight this time. Instead, Garland pens a true story set in 2006 Iraq, relying on the memories of the soldiers who lived it. Ray Mendoza, one of the soldiers depicted in the movie, even co-directs with Garland. That creates an authenticity that reveals itself in the nuances in each actor’s performance. Every character feels fully developed, almost like you’ve known them for years. Small glances or an offhand joke tell you more about their experiences than exposition ever could.

Here’s the plot: Mendoza and his platoon commandeer an Iraqi apartment to stage some kind of operation. However, an enemy ambush quickly converts the operation into an escape and rescue mission. What follows are some of the most visceral, difficult-to-watch images I’ve seen on film.

The POV constantly jumps from character to character, but not necessarily to ensure you see all the different characters’ perspectives. On The Big Picture, Sean Fennessy suggested Garland & Mendoza frequently changed the POV for practical reasons since they’re only relying on the soldiers’ memories. Our brains tend to bury painful memories and disassociate us from a traumatic experience, and that’s no different for these guys. So, the POV shifts really reflect moments where one soldier’s memory replaces another because the latter blacked out or disassociated. Pretty wild to think about.

Warfare is a tough watch, a lot like Come and See (1985). Garland & Mendoza may even allude to the anti-war masterpiece in Warfare’s opening shot: a close-up of a retro workout video that would make Sue from The Substance blush. The camera pans out, revealing soldiers crowded around the laptop, hooting and hollering to the gyrating hips on the screen. It’s a stark reminder of their youth and social immaturity.

Garland & Mendoza constantly play with that idea - juxtaposing the soldiers’ youth with the grave responsibilities of their job. In the first act, a sniper named Frank watches an enemy target through his rifle lens. The target vanishes inside a building before Frank takes a shot. The other soldiers mock him like kids in a locker room, but the camera lingers a little longer on Frank’s face, and you see his eyes tremble. Frank knows that fuck-up will cost lives.

Please, go see Warfare; its one of the best movies of the year. To get in the mood, check out one of these VHS tapes from Workout Rewind Fanzine.

Your Satanic Vibez Guide

Below, you’ll find my curated list of movies prominently featuring the devil, demons, witches, satanic worshipers, and the occult. It spreads across multiple decades, countries, and genres, but I separate the movies into the four distinct categories I mentioned earlier. There’s obvious overlap, but I try to go with the category that is most prominent in the film. Rosemary’s Baby, for example, includes satanic cults and a Faustian bargain; it could go either way, so I’ll just make a judgment call there (I’d pick Faust). Same with Evil Dead II - that could be a possession movie, but I think its more so a demon movie for the Satan’s minion’s shelf.

My one rule - as always - requires me to ask whether the film before me deserves the cinevibez treatment, a fully subjective and narcissistic endeavor. Typically, a cinevibez-approved film is weird, offbeat, and obscure, but I don’t want to get boxed in. I think a defintion will naturally develop as we get through some of these early volumes. Finally, I include a short, spoiler-free capsule review for each film recommendation, along with the release year and director. I'll use that format across all volumes.

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Part I: Exorcism & Possession

The Devils (1971); d: Ken Russell: Ken Russell’s greatest film is set in 17th-century France, where Oliver Reed plays Father Grandier, an unorthodox priest who’s influence over a convent of horny nuns convinces higher-ups that Grandier’s influence may be the Devil’s work. Vanessa Redgrave as Sister Jeanne will leave you speechless.

The Possession of Joel Delaney (1972); d: Waris Hussein: A xenophobic slow burn that forces Shirley McClaine into the world of voodoo. The only reason I include this highly problematic film is for the scene where Shirley McClaine shoves a little girl’s face in cat food.

Lorna, the Exorcist (1974); d: Jesus Franco: Lorna is more of a succubus than an exorcist in Jess Franco’s fantastically surreal, sexy, and supernatural Lorna, the Exorcist. I should warn you, however, that Lorna’s seductive powers over women extend to the viewer.

Abby (1974); d: William Girdler: A very rude Nigerian demon possesses Abby, the wife of a preacher, which leads to all sorts of sleaze. Essentially The Exorcist with a blaxploitation twist.

The Devil’s Female (1974); d: Walter Boos: This German Exorcist ripoff also goes by Magdalena: The Devil Inside and Beyond the Darkness. It’s full of sleaze, nudity, and absolutely filthy language like “I want to take communion, not in my mouth - down here in my pussy.” Naturally, its my personal favorite The Exorcist knockoff.

Beyond the Door (1974); d: Ovidio G. Assonitis: Put all the other movies on this list in a blender, and Beyond the Door will pour out. A pregnant woman experiences possession-like symptoms during pregnancy, eventually realizing she’s carrying the Antichrist after those symptoms included levitation, disembodied wheezes, head twisting, and projectile vomiting.

Demon Witch Child (1975) d: Armando de Ossorio: Demon Witch Child is a Spanish mashup of The Exorcist and Hereditary, where witches take center stage to possess a young girl. The tone meanders from self-serious to campy a bit too much, hurting the pacing.

Nurse Sherri (1978); d: Al Adamson: When a religious fanatic dies on the operating table, his spirit possesses nearby Nurse Sherri. What follows is a sleazy, gory rampage where the demon possessing Sherri uses only her wits … plus meat cleavers, pitchforks, and the like.

Demons (1985); d: Lamberto Bava: Lamberto Bava’s Italian cult favorite Demons (produced by Argento!) takes place entirely inside a movie theater where a scary movie transforms the audience into bloodthirsty demons. Bobby Rhodes gives the performance of a lifetime.

Possession (1981); d: Andrzej Żuławski: The best movie on this list is required viewing. Isabelle Adjani’s subway tunnel performance is one for the ages. The plot - a disintegrating marriage stands in for pentagrams and green vomit, but the experience is no less terrifying. Rob Pattinson recently bought the rights to film a remake.

Amityville II: Possession (1982); d: Damiano Damiani: Many consider Dino De Laurentiis’ Amityville II: Possession the worst of the Amityville series; they’re probably right. However, the first Amityville sequel is still my personal favorite of an otherwise dreadfully boring franchise. A new family of four moves into the Amityville house; and a demon possesses the teenaged boy. Lots of weird, nonsensical stuff happens, but things go off the rails when the possessed teen hits on his sister … and she’s into it? Dino sure knew how to spend his money.

Mausoleum (1983); d: William Mesa: A young girl unleashes a demonic entity out of her family’s mausoleum. The ridiculous low-budget effects, gratuitous nudity, and plot holes keep this one interesting until the end.

Demons II (1986); d: Lamberto Bava: Replace the movie theater with a high-rise apartment and you’ve got Demons II.

Witchboard (1986); Kevin Tenney: A love triangle is further complicated by the arrival of David, a young dead boy who only speaks through a Ouija board. This response to Satanic Panic has tons of great 80s stereotypes.

Don’t Panic (1988); d: Ruben Galindo Jr.: Maybe the strangest movie on this list. It opens on Michael’s 17th birthday party, where he and his friends play with a Ouija board. Next thing you know, Michael’s eyes keep turning red and everyone around him seems possessed. Ridiculously wonderful special effects, makeup, and fascinating acting choices make this one required viewing.

Witchtrap (1989) d: Kevin Tenney: Witchtrap sets the stage for all those dumb paranormal ghost hunting shows on reality tv. Some parapsychologists attempt to exorcise demons from a haunted inn, in hopes of reopening it for business. The ghost living inside the home attempts to thwart their efforts by any means necessary, including possession. I think this is the first recommendation that includes warlocks.

Exorcist III (1990); d: William Peter Blatty: What a great movie. Seriously, Exorcist III is better than the original - Fabio AND Patrick Ewing hanging out in heaven together? Sign me up! George C. Scott leads this film as a detective investigating a series of bizarre murders, leading him to a possessed serial killer. We need to reevaluate this one.

Teenage Exorcist (1991); d: Grant Austin Waldman: There is no teenage exorcist in this movie, but the pizza guy makes a sufficient replacement. Unfunny, but weird enough to make this list. I love the Lair of the White Worm references.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005); d: Scott Derrickson: A PG-13 legal thriller that explores the conflict between exorcism and mental health. It makes the list for Jennifer Carpenter’s incredible performance during the exorcism.

Jennifer’s Body (2009); d: Karyn Kusama: One of the better modern possession films. The plot centers on a succubus who possesses Megan Fox, compelling her to eat her classmates. This is often cited as an excellent feminist text on body autonomy and the male gaze.

When Evil Lurks (2023); d: Demian Rugna: An international horror film out of Mexico captures our fears during the early stages of the pandemic. Here, possession is treated like an illness. Unfortunately, it also spreads like one. This is one of the more original selections on the list.

Talk to Me (2023); d: Michael & Danny Phillippou: YouTube directing brothers prove they have the chops to make a full feature in this terrifying indie horror film out of New Zealand. Kids play a party game where you allow a demon to possess you for 30 seconds. When someone ignores the game’s rules, a nightmarish pandora’s box is opened.

The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) d: Julius Avery: A surprisingly fun story elevated by Russell Crowe’s wonderfully campy performance. He’s having a blast, and you will too. Fun fact: I saw this in a movie theater while my wife was riding on a Vespa in Rome, almost like she was in the movie! Anyway, this movie depicts the adventures and exploits of the Pope’s personal exorcist and real person, Father Gabriele Amorth.

Shadow of God (2025); d: Michael Peterson: Just released last week, Shadow of God takes a different approach to possession movies. A priest who grew up in a strict fundamentalist household sees his dead dad all over town. Eventually, he learns he is not hallucinating. His dad is alive, but someone has control over him. Is it a demon or is it God with a capital G? Find out on Shudder!

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What’s Next?

CineVibez Fanzine remains free for all subscribers, but check out this little tip jar I’m adding to my newsletters. Anyone who wants to support my work is welcome to click the following button and send whatever you’d like. Whether it be a cup of coffee or my monthly mortgage payment, its greatly appreciated. And, of course, its never expected.

Tip Jar

And finally, keep an eye on your inbox for Part 2 of Vol. 1: Satanic Vibez, a list of cinevibez-approved films featuring satanic cults. There’s a lot of fun movies on the list. You’ll also get a review of Michael B. Jordan’s new vampire movie, Sinners. So, until then …

Happy Watching!

Murray

Wait, what?

Today, and today only, the boob tube takes center stage because I finished Adolescence this week and holy cow, what a show. Rarely is TV so authentic, well-made, and relevant. If you haven’t heard, Adolescence is a four-episode miniseries streaming on Netflix. The show opens with the cops issuing a search warrant on a scrawny white 14-year-old boy named Jamie. He’s played by newcomer Owen Cooper - its his first acting credit … you’ll understand why I emphasize that after episode 3.

The police eventually tell Jamie he’s under arrest for murdering a classmate named Katie. From there, the investigation takes multiple twists and turns, each one revealing a new horror kids face in the modern-day classroom. It’s must-see TV.

Each episode is limited to one or two shots, so the camera constantly tracks the characters at eye-level, placing them face-to-face with the audience. That gives it an immersive guerilla-style of handheld filmmaking. It feels like a documentary. Parts reminded me of the Safdie brothers - especially Uncut Gems and Good Time. It’s that same sense of urgency and anxiety the Safdies are so good at creating; its like you don’t know what’s coming next but you know its coming very soon.

The single-shot approach also makes for some cool camerawork. For example, the camera may follow a detective to his squad car, only to shift and pull back and redirect attention on another character as the detective drives away. It will weave between characters on the screen as if you’re caught up in the crowd. The camera seamlessly shifts to an overview shot by drone in the second episode. I didn’t notice a camera change. If you have OCD like me, the transitions in this show will feel unbelievably satisfying.

I don’t watch much TV outside of documentaries and the Today Show, but its been looking tempting lately. The Studio might be the perfect companion piece to Babylon. Although I wished the pilot was … I dunno, something else? Then there’s Happy Face … well Happy Face is a bad show, but Dennis Quaid plays the role of a lifetime as a serial killer who harasses his daughter from prison. His joy reaches out and touches you like Debbie Harry in Videodrome. What else? Hacks is pretty good …

Ugh nevermind, TV still sucks (but watch Adolescence). Back to movies next week.

Happy Watching!

Murray

Anyway, back to Jenny Pen. John Lithgow plays Dave Crealy, a nursing home patient who amuses himself by bullying his fellow residents. He gets away with it by channeling Eddie Haskell around the doctors and staff. Crealy’s grip of power loosens when a hard-assed, curmudgeonly old judge (played by Geoffrey Rush) moves to the floor to recover from a stroke. The ensuing battle between the two, which can only be described as a battle between civility and anarchy, reaches a surreal, nightmarish level made for the big screen. I highly recommend you see it at the movie theater, but it should be on VOD soon if that’s not feasible. I’ll post the VOD release date on Substack Notes and Bluesky once I find out. Watching Lithgow and Rush fully commit in such a bizarre, psychotic movie is a rare treat I hope you see.

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Borderline is another recent release you’ll probably find in the thriller section. This one has a great premise but a terrible execution. A sociopath escapes a mental institution to visit Sofia, a famous pop star played by Samara Weaving, who he stalked prior to his recent institutionalization. Sofia’s bodyguard finds the sociopath at her front door, starting a tense stand-off between the two. The next act deals with the repercussions of that standoff by attempting an ill-advised Inferno-like protagonist change from the empathetic bodyguard to the rude pop star. The movie suffers pretty badly from it, and I usually love Samara Weaving movies.

So much potential. At times, Borderline dared to be a reverse-The Bodyguard sprinkled with Argento-inspired plot devices. But by the third act, the true film revealed itself: a shitty home invasion movie. Thank you, next.

I’m saving the best for last. Steven Soderbergh’s Black Bag is a well-paced, exciting spy-thriller clocking in at 94 minutes. Michael Fassbender and Cate Blanchette play a loving married couple who treat each other with mutual admiration and respect. But that’s typically not the case when you’re both movie spies. Their relationship is put to the test when Fassbender’s boss asks him to find out if Blanchette, among other colleagues, is a mole. Tension builds after Fassbender invites the suspects (including Blanchette) to dinner in an effort to find the mole.

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Black Bag feels like a classic spy thriller where the tension lies in the conversations and choices of the characters as opposed to big action set-pieces. On top of that, the chemistry between Fassbender and Blanchette elevates every scene they share. Black Bag is simply great filmmaking with an exciting script. Can’t ask for more than that, right?

All three of these movies are still in theaters, so just go there and something will start a few minutes after you arrive. Just do it, its fine.

Happy Watching!

Murray

Welcome to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe … even an independent, emotionally charged drama about a foul-mouthed sex worker with nothing to her name but a pocket full of dreams. Now that Anora has been crowned the belle of the ball, I bet you think award season is over. Wrong. It’s time for the Third Annual Archie’s Awards.

This year is a little different than the Archie’s of years past. But it still celebrates films that stay true to the CineVibez Code. The categories are separated by psychotronic genre; that means science fiction, fantasy, horror, and exploitation or, in a nutshell, independent “B” and cult movies released in the prior year (2024). And to be frank, I don't know what a 2024 exploitation film even is anymore. Most intentionally flip the script to honor the antithesis of the past films - think Revenge or Driveaway Dolls.

And finally, the Archie’s Awards’ “Best Picture” equivalent is a very special award - The Vibey. The first ever Vibey winner will be revealed TONIGHT. It honors the movie of the year that exemplifies what CineVibez stands for. So sit back, relax, and be sure to check out all of 2024’s Archie Champions.

Science Fiction:

Best Prosthetics:Chris Hemsworth’s nose in Furiosa (runner up - the nipple that falls out of Elizabeth Sparkle’s nostril)

Best Heel Turn: Timmy Chalamet as Paul A. at the end of Dune II (especially when he tosses Zendaya aside for the Progressive lady)

Best Effort to Kill off IP: Alien Romulus (more like Alien Yawn-ulus)

Best Science Fiction Picture: I Saw the TV Glow

Fantasy:

Best Pleasant Surprise: My Old Ass

Best Comedic Performance in a Fantasy: Ariana (LOLed throughout)

Best Use of IP: Wicked

Best Fantasy Ensemble: Megalopolis

Best Death Scene: Jon Voight’s arrow boner killing Wow Platinum and Claudio Pulcher

Best IRL Fantasy: The Rock’s belief that he still has a career after Red One

Best Fantasy Picture: Megalopolis

Horror:

Worst Use of IP: Apartment 2A

Best Use of IP: The First Omen

Best Actor in a Horror: Josh Hartnett in Trap (watch his face … that whole performance is in his face)

Best Use of Fluid: Tie between the ending of The Substance and whatever came out of that bird in Cuckoo

Best Use of Nicholas Cage: Longlegs

Best Attempt to Bring Unexplained, Random Psychic Abilities Back to the Genre: Longlegs

Best Theatrical Experience in Horror: The Substance (overall “Best Theatrical Experience” goes to the A24 re-release of the Jonathon Demme masterpiece Stop Making Sense)

Best Horror Picture: The Substance

Exploitation (loose definition):

Best Callback to the Past: Maxine Minx’s Depalma-esque heel-stomp

Best Swing and a Miss: Y2K

Best B-Movie: Beekeeper

Best Exploitation Picture: Bikeriders

Finally, the Vibey goes to:

Sasquatch Sunset

Extra Features:

I saw Mickey 17 last week. It’s set into the not too distant future where we figured out cloning and use it to spit out expendable workers to perform dangerous jobs. Eventually the practice is outlawed, so corporations start using “expendables” in space - outside the world’s jurisdiction. This particular film focuses on the life of one of the last expendables - Mickey 17.

I don’t know how people will take it, but I had a blast during Mickey 17. It’s a wacky, satirical slapstick movie with Bong Joon-Ho’s signature take capitalism. Think Brazil or even Dr. Strangelove. Rob Pattinson is great as Mickey, but Mark Ruffalo’s Kenneth Marshall takes the cake here - that guy Ruffalo - he is on a roll lately, isn’t he. I think Mickey 17 comes out nationwide this weekend. Let me know what you think.

Next issue is nearly complete. We’re getting back to our roots and focusing on a specific vibe - this time its Satanic Vibez … ohhh spooky. The Exorcist traumatized me as a child so the prep for this issue has been a cathartic experience. Until then, stock up on holy water and keep a lookout for #12 in your inbox!

Happy Watching,

Murray

Welcome back to CineVibez Fanzine, where every movie has a vibe - even during dump month. Yes, dump month - the beloved tradition of tossing stinkers in the January abyss, never to see the light of day again. This year is no different, so I included a few wide releases in January to even things out.

Next week, you’ll find new segments on movie guides and awards season, including very exciting news concerning the Third Annual Archie Awards! I can’t believe it’s still going strong, three years later.

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Dump Month Disasters

Let’s start with Leigh Whannell’s Wolf Man. Christopher Abbott plays Blake, our titular wolf man, and Julia Garner is his wife, Charlotte - what a nice sounding name. Anyway, before the transformation takes place, we see Blake hunting with his dad by the family cabin. This scene sets the stage for the rest of the film: Not only do we learn lychans exist, but we also witness the trauma his father inflicted. This one had so much potential, but all the good ideas - like the visual transformation and the POV shots - are superficial and half-baked.

Even for CGI, the transformation looks fantastic; like a visual homage to Cronenberg’s The Fly. But Whannell never shows us anything close to Seth Brundel’s mental decline. The POV shots are pretty cool, too. As our wolf man transforms, he recognizes the fear in Charlotte’s eyes but she sounds like a teacher in Peanuts. On the flip-side, Charlotte only hears growls. Recognizing the daughter’s gesture brings the point home, but it could have been more compelling. The rest of the movie falls victim to the A24 effect, where a filmmaker connects the entire plot to generational trauma. If that’s your jam, there’s plenty of blatantly obvious symbolism you can connect to the DSM-V.

I can forgive all of the above, but I cannot ignore the most obvious omission: wolf man never howls at a full moon. We get a few indoor howls but they sound more like the result of AI audio-mixing like respeecher … a bit worrisome given the recent news about The Brutalist. I even caught a hint of Hungarian mixed in.

AI Digression

And, boy oh boy, bad timing for Brady Corbet’s The Brutalist. Not only did AI alter the Hungarian dialogue, but it also cobbled together the pics of Laszlo’s buildings used at the exhibition. I’m not suggesting AI ruined the movie, but it takes away from Corbet’s accomplishments. Especially since he's acting like VistaVision is the second coming. Maybe its time to add asterisks next to the names of Oscar winners relying on AI.

Proponents for AI want you to believe its integration into our world is inevitable. Come on. That’s just how they get you. In nine months, AI has gone from including a couple surreal images in Late Night with the Devil to altering the dialogue of the Oscar frontrunner for Best Actor. The Brutalist’s editor defends it because its “nothing that hasn’t been done before.” Setting logic fallacies aside, this way of thinking is concerning. I’d reference the slippery slope, but Hollywood already hit the bottom.

You’re Cordially Invited

Amazon invited me to an advance screening of You’re Cordially Invited, the Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon comedy coming to Prime tomorrow. Writer and director Nicholas Stoller isn’t my cup of tea, but going felt like a middle-finger to Amazon and it’s anti-cinema policies. Unfortunately, the joke was on me. This one is a stinker.

The stars phoned this one in - I expect that from Will Ferrell, but Reese? Ever since Reese debuted Hello Sunshine, her projects have lowered in quality. Maybe Reese isn’t the best curator. And I had no idea Amazon adopted Netflix’s new policy to to make actors continuously repeat the plot. You’re Cordially Invited is a reminder that streamers hate us and think we’re dumb.

Back in Action

I will not besmirch the anticipated return of my first crush (it was that red dress in The Mask). Cameron is just getting her feet wet and her performance was fine. The problem here is Netflix’s casual viewing category. Netflix claims casual viewing is for people folding laundry, but they really just think we’re dumb. Back in Action is a movie made with that philosophy in mind. You can skip it.

Bystanders

Bystanders is technically a 2024 release but it just got a nationwide release last week. It’s also very low-budget, so it needs some amplification. Low-budget horror is a subgenre unto itself. But before venturing into this world, you need to alter your expectations a bit. Independent low-budget horror sheds starpower and inflated budgets for a great idea. The right ones blow you away and forever change your criteria for a “good film.” Most are the wrong ones, but that’s part of the fun.

We’ve seen some interesting takes on rape-revenge movies as of late. For example, Coralie Fargeat’s Revenge modernized the subgenre by retooling tired, old tropes geared more toward titillating audiences than empowering the character. Bystanders continues subverting those long-established expectations; one being the path to revenge. Here, the typically hapless, innocent bystanders are anything but. I’ll stop there. The less you know the better. You can only get this one on VOD from Dread Central, but I’m sure Shudder will pick it up soon.

Traumnovelle

I saw this January stinker during SLIFF last November, but it finally released in theaters this month. It’s wild that this movie is based off the same source material as Eyes Wide Shut. Obviously the general narrative is the same, but that’s about it for similarities.

I couldn’t relate or even care about the couple in Traumnovelle. They were cold and lifeless. Also - I remember thinking Eyes Wide Shut needed remote-controlled vibrators and I’m glad someone finally listened.

Love Me

Love Me is an experimental film starring Steve Yeun and Kristen Stewart in a love story about a satellite and ocean buoy. It sounds awesome on paper, but the end result was a mess. There’s even an extended scene inside the metaverse (add puke emoji here). Another stinker you can skip.

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Conclusion

Things will heat back up now that Dump Month closes in 24 hours. But if you need something good to watch tonight, go to a movie theater to see Nickel Boys. I can’t believe this isn’t talked about more for best picture. I thought about comparing the Nickel Boys POV shots with the Wolf Man POV shots but it felt like I was disrespecting Nickel Boys.

Another good one - Simon, King of the Witches (1971), has nothing to do with Dump Month, but I saw it last night and loved. It’s more a character study of a modern day warlock and his aquaintances. Very weird, very 70s. You’ll love it.

The film & tv substackers got together to do something special for subscribers this year. Scan or long-press the QR code in the Official CineVibez Fanzine Christmas Card (found below) to read our First (Annual?) Film & TV Substackers’ Holiday Movie Guide & Feast.

That’s right; our film guide includes food & drink pairings. I even made my recipe before sending this out:

Be sure to watch some of the movies in our guide this Holiday season. And don't forget to check out the newsletters from all our wonderful contributors!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Murray

The 33rd St. Louis International Film Festival (SLIFF)

St. Louis International Film Festival ( or SLIFF if you’re cool) concluded its 33rd year with Nightbitch (2024), the Amy Adams body horror/comedy about a new mother who transforms into a dog. It takes an exaggerated look at the biological changes women experience during pregnancy and childbirth. This one would work better as a short film, but it has some funny moments and a nice, empowering message about motherhood. Plus, you get to see Amy Adams with eight nipples.

Those of you who vomited during The Substance (2024) need not worry. Nightbitch is pretty tame when it comes to body horror. Amy Adams grows a tail, pops some zits, and gains unwanted hair and those aforementioned nipples, but that’s really it. This movie is more about empowerment than body transformation. The audience loved it; lots of laughs and applause at the end. It came close to winning the audience award (I counted the ballots), but that honor was instead bestowed on September 5 (2024). Nevertheless, I think you guys will like Nightbitch.

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A week earlier, SLIFF opened with A Real Pain (2024) - Jesse Eisenberg’s film about two cousins who take a trip to Poland after their grandma’s death. I really liked this one at Sundance, but I originally saw it the same night as The Zone of Interest (2023). Two Holocaust movies in one night is a lot and it forced unfair comparisons.

This time around, I really got to soak in the performances. Kieren Culkin will win an Oscar, although putting him in the supporting actor category shows a lack of confidence if you ask me. And even though everyone will talk about Kieren Culkin, don’t sleep on Jesse Eisenberg. His acting is very nuanced and it shines in subtle facial expressions and body language - usually in response to Culkin’s behavior. If I produced A Real Pain, I’d have Culkin compete in the best actor category and give Eisenberg the space to win a supporting actor statue.

SLIFF introduced me to Traumnovelle (2025), a German movie based on the same source material as Eyes Wide Shut (1999). However, director Florian Frerichs does not try to emulate Kubrick. Instead he goes hard on the surrealism; it even turns to animation a couple times. The movie is more Lynchian than Kubrick. A fellow movie-goer called it a reverse-Belle du Jour (1967). I kinda see it. This isn’t one I’d recommend unless you think adding app-controlled vibrators to Eyes Wide Shut is a good idea.

Last but certainly not least, I saw The Brutalist (2024), a $10,000,000 epic set in New England after WWII. I love how Brady Corbet utilizes light and shadows to fill the screen. See it on film if you can. I got to see this one on 35 mm and it looked beautiful. The story is expansive and compelling, but its a lot to take in. Frankly, I need to see it again to understand it. So, for today only, let’s just focus on how pretty this movie looks.

Corbet shot the whole thing in VistaVision, which is essentially 35 mm film flipped on its side to create widescreen shots. That’s why Paramount invented VistaVision in 1954 - to create wide moving images in high definition. It’s a great way to make small movies look huge, which is exactly what Corbet did here. Check out the video above and this Letterboxd List for more VistaVision fun.

I wanted to see Nickel Boys (2024) and September 5 (2024) at SLIFF, but my schedule wouldn’t support it.

Merch Store Memo

A few weeks ago, I polled substackers to see if I should include the occasional segment on movie merch. You responded with a resounding “YES.” I’m glad because I also like merch. For example, here’s the merch on my office bookshelf:

Today, I’m using this segment to create awareness on a serious issue. People keep bringing blankets to the movie theater. That’s disgusting. Sit like a normal person, you’re in public. You may as well be cuddling and caressing yourself in public.

So, as you can imagine, I got a little annoyed by Alamo Drafthouse’s merch for Musfasa (2024) (I thought it was Mustafa or maybe Mufasta until now).

Anyway, it’s disheartening that the advertising is marketed to kids. Do we really need to reinforce this behavior? Alamo, I know you’re better than that.

On the Horizon

My wife, Bunny Mintz, spent the past ten days in Thailand and Malaysia. I usually watch movies set where Bunny travels to feel closer to her while she’s away. This time, I watched a lot Hong Kong movies (they always end up in Thailand in those movies). So thank Bunny for next issue’s topic: Hong Kong Category III Films.

Murray’s Top Four

Here’s four good movies I saw since publishing last issue:

1. Conclave (2024): I took my mom to see this at Alamo Drafthouse. She loved it! This may be a good holiday pick for the family.

2. Dagger Eyes (1983): A stylish giallo starring Carole Bouquet as Mystere, a high-end call girl in possession of the only clue connecting an assassin to a high-profile murder.

3. Anora (2024): Sean Baker’s new twisted love story will pull you in and won’t let go until the credits roll. Maybe my favorite movie released in 2024.

4. Seizure! (1974): Oliver Stone’s directorial debut is a wild nightmare starring Tattoo from Fantasy Island and the stunning Bond girl, Martine Beswick. An excellent midnight movie.

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Happy watching!

Welcome to CineVibez Magazine, where every movie has a vibe. I finished watching Apartment 7A, this new prequel to Rosemary’s Baby. Meh, I didn’t really like it. It takes an unoriginal, albeit kinda clever approach for a prequel: Remember Terry who met Rosemary in the laundry room before leaping to her death? The new movie is about her. Yes, her.

Terry’s story parallels Rosemary’s Baby so closely that it adds nothing to the western horror film canon. Your favorite side characters are back (even Dr. Sapirstein), but the new versions don’t really hold water In fact, Apartment 7A’s biggest flaw is its depiction of Minnie and Roman Castevet. The lack of personal boundaries scared me more than the devil rape, but Minnie and Roman are just sweet, helpful neighbors in this new movie.

Ultimately, Apartment 7A answers why Terry jumped out the window and little else.  If that’s been gnawing at you since 1968, see this movie. You will finally find peace. As for the rest of us, just watch Rosemary’s Baby again. I see something new on every rewatch. Or alternatively, check out The First Omen -another prequel made decades after the original with a better script.

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The New CineVibez Format:

In Zine Queenz #1, I revealed my vision for the future of the CineVibez HQ family of newsletters. CineVibez’s focus going forward will be recommending and highlighting little known, forgotten, and obscure films from yesteryear. We’re talking b-movies, grindhouse, psychotronic, cult, straight-to-video, sub-subgenres, etc. - all the good stuff.

If possible, I’ll try to link the recommendations to contemporary hits. Like today, I’ll write about the body horror pioneers who cleared the way for Coralie Fargeat’s The Substance. I’ll gloss over the heavy hitters like Cronenberg’s The Fly, Carpenter’s The Thing, and Death Becomes Her in favor of more interesting choices. For example, Fargeat took inspiration from 1982’s Basket Case, among other movies. Basket Case was one of the more mainstream 42nd Street regulars for a reason. Each scene looks so dirty that you might want a shower after watching. But boy oh boy Frank Henenlotter puts his characters in a delightfully sleazy New York. It also stars one of the all-time greats: Frankenhooker’s Beverly Bonner. She started to look a lot like my mother-in-law toward the end of her life. It makes holidays confusing. And btw, Frankenhooker is another great companion film for The Substance.

Anyway, you’ll mostly hear about The Fly and Death Becomes Her in the trades, but Basket Case was a fun reference from Fargeat. I keep seeing people mention John Carpenter’s The Thing alongside The Substance, but no, no, no. I don’t see it. Sure both have body horror, but The Thing focuses on an external dilemmas whereas The Substance’s struggles are more internalized (until they’re not). It’s a different vibe, man.

But none of you are here for recommendations you already know of or have seen. The good stuff is in the back. A week or so ago, I went idea fishing and realized CineVibez HQ was headed in the wrong direction (a direction already forged by others). Don’t worry - I course corrected. CineVibez HQ’s family of newsletters now has a new, innovative approach. I can’t explain the approach because its new, so stop asking. I can only give you the following mission statement:

I will obsessively research (and watch) psychotronic, cult, foreign, or lesser known movies to find recommendations that relate to contemporary hits my audience enjoyed. In doing so, I hope to show that people are better at recommending movies than algorithms and artificial “intelligence.”

I won’t rant about A.I. or social media in this newsletter unless its the topic of a film I watched; that’s the last topic I want to highlight. I just want to give you guys a living, breathing alternative to computer language-based recommendations. But maybe I should aim lower in the beginning - I just hope you guys like the new format more than reading Deadpool reviews.

Bodiez, Bodiez, Bodiez

Let’s get to the heart of the matter. Coralie Fargeat’s The Substance is a new body horror film that takes aim at modern beauty standards. You really should see this one in a theater, but it’s streaming on Mubi on Halloween if that isn’t reasonable for you.

Body horror films rule because they get so wild and unpredictable that it feels like you’re watching a feral animal try to escape a maze. The Substance is no exception. The plot follows Demi Moore’s Elizabeth Sparkle, an aging celebrity fitness instructor who gets pushed out of her job for a younger, hotter alternative. As she unravels, Elizabeth gets in a car accident and is rushed to the ER. Things get interesting after a nurse slips her the phone number for a new pharmaceutical injectable called the substance. It is neon green and claims to bring back your younger, hotter self. Just be sure to follow the instructions.

I won’t spoil too much, but Elizabeth obviously takes the substance and fails to follow the instructions, causing mayhem. What follows is a wonderfully insane allegory about self-hatred and illogical beauty norms. Elizabeth’s transformation comes with a mental breakdown that rivals that of Seth Brundle. That’s not the only reference to The Fly btw.

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Body Horror Mount Rushmore

Practical effects artist Pierre Olivier Persin who designed Elizabeth’s transformation said:

I was thinking of The Fly. At first, he [Jeff Goldblum] has hair on his back. He's losing one nail. It's a small decay. It's step by step. He's not suddenly gruesome. So it was trying to find the right balance. We didn't want one stage to be too much, so when we see where it's going, it's a surprise.

Fargeat honors a lot of body horror films, but The Fly’s DNA is all over this one. As I mentioned, you see it in the physical and mental transformations of the leads. The slow metamorphosis starts out subtle in both films, like skin discoloration or … I dunno, a witch finger. The mental decay starts to track the physical to drive the applicable themes home. I don’t really see The Thing’s DNA in The Substance though. Maybe its too difficult to imagine John Carpenter tackling the fashion industry (he didn’t really write The Eyes of Laura Mars). Anyway, Geena Davis’ head gets the first spot on Mt. Rushmore.

Death Becomes Her is another obvious inspiration. Like Elizabeth, Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep’s characters take drastic measures to maintain their youthful bodies. They even have a magical potion like the substance injection! Let’s give this one to Goldie. She’s “head number 2.”

1931’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde takes the third spot on Mt. Rushmore. Its hard to miss Fargeat’s in-your-face exploration of similar themes of duality and the id, ego, and superego. 1971’s Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde starred Martine Beswick, so lets put her on the third head. I’m not putting a man on The Substance’s Mt. Rushmore.

And finally, the fourth spot goes to Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining … or maybe just Stanley Kubrick. Fargeat impressively recreates The Shining’s eerie, uncomfortable vibes, but there’s a Kubrick reference around every corner. The studio’s rug is basically The Shining’s hallway carpeting. Shelley Duvall gets the last spot. So there you have it: The Substance Mount Rushmore.

CineVibezHQ Approved Recommendations:

The Substance’s box office return was just shy of $40,000,000, which is pretty darn good for a niche horror film that cost only $17,500,000 to make. Hopefully we’ll get more interesting body horror as a result. In the meantime, I have some treats for you. The following movies share DNA with The Substance (and every other movie mentioned today):

Society (1989)

In The Substance, Sue starts falling apart once she ignores the instructions. Things get so bad that she injects a partial dose into herself to create an even better version of herself. Unfortunately, what comes out looks more like the shunting in Society - one of my favorite 80s horror movies. Go in blind and stay until the end.

Looker (1981)

I wrote about Looker before, but I need to mention it here because its a great companion film for The Substance. Looker is a Michael Crichton directed movie that attacks the same beauty standards under assault in The Substance. Except this one sort of has an AI/ChatGPT twist. You see, the Looker Machine spits out data to help advertisers figure out what body types sell their products best. The actresses get plastic surgery to obtain the Looker Machine’s measurements before filming commercials. Fun fact - Looker correctly predicted that actors are going to be replaced by computer generated images of themselves.

Titane (2021)

I added Titane to include another body horror film from France. I bet a lot of you missed Titane because of the timing of its release. But you need to see it. Titane shares more than a subgenre title with The Substance. Both movies explore identity and, more specifically, the extreme measures we take to gain acceptance from others. Titane is beautifully shot and is a marvel to watch, which seems contrary to the subgenre of choice. But trust me, it works. As an added bonus, you will get to see one of my favorite movie scenes from 2021. You’ll know its coming if you hear Future Island’s Lighthouse.

Rejuvenatrix (1988)

Last but certainly not least is Rejuvenatrix, or The Rejuvenator. You may have seen the other movies I mentioned, but I bet you haven’t seen Rejuvenatrix. Take away $17,250,000 of The Substance’s budget and you’ve got Rejuvenatrix. It’s campy, insane and parallels Fargeat’s film in more ways than one.

Rejuvenatrix opens with a rich actress past her prime who hopes to restore her youthful beauty. She finances a scientist who is working on a formula for eternal youth. The formula isn’t ready, but the actress (her name is Elizabeth for heck’s sake) doesn’t care. The formula works at first, but Elizabeth eventually learns she needs brain fluid to maintain her new figure. Brain fluid is hard to get.

Body Melt (1992)

Finally, I need to recommend Body Melt, an early 90s subgenre of body horror known as melt movies. Body Melt, Rejuvenatrix, and The Substance are essentially the same movies stylized differently by their decades. This Aussie hit is all over the place and its guarnteed to offend you, but there’s still something charming about it. And the magical potion that reverses aging is just as neon green as the substance. This one isn’t for everyone, but its similarities to The Substance are uncanny.

Happy Halloween!

Some of these movies make great Halloween selections. And let me know in the comments if I left out any good, comparable body horror films!

Happy Watching,

Murray

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I named this newsletter Zine Queenz because we’re going to talk about fanzines a lot; this is because fanzines consistently recommend excellent movies.

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But there’s another reason I made this newsletter - it’s going to free you from the shackles of Big Algorithm. Nowadays, people just watch what’s in the Netflix Top Ten or whatever IP Disney spews out on Friday. These streamers - the Almighty Lords of Content - are deciding what we watch and like. It needs to stop now.

As you know, “recommendations” from streaming apps appear by way of an algorithm that supposedly knows what you want to watch. Maybe the algorithms work for you, but they sure don’t work for me. And besides, I’ll take a recommendation from a living, breathing human being over a bunch of numbers and letters Mark Zuckerberg strung together any day.

So you will find this newsletter helpful if you often struggle to find something to watch or if the shows you watch have felt unoriginal and boring lately. Not only will I recommend unique, lesser known films here, but I’ll also show you how to find new movies on your own. My hope is that this newsletter will eventually become unnecessary because you will have the right tools and know-how to confidently find something to watch without relying on algorithms.

Guides & Fanzines

The Golden Age of Fanzines between 1960 and 1980 is long gone, but some of you may have noticed it is getting a little Renaissance. Now I’ll admit, corporations appear to be championing the comeback yet I still sense a great opportunity here. But first, let me briefly explain why any of this matters.

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It also started a few years ago. I heard Quentin Tarantino recommend the Psychotronic Video Guide on a podcast. Obviously, I immediately got the book; it turned out that its a film guide with very short, concise reviews of b-movies and exploitation films and it quickly became my bible. It also started an obsession with finding old, lesser-known films.

I sought more film guides with that goal in mind. Guides from Videohound and Scarecrow Video, and The Village Voice directed me to so many crazy movies I never knew existed. Each guide had a unique voice, almost like their own personalities.

The guides led me to fanzines, the really good stuff. A fanzine is an independent publication usually reprinted via xerox machines. They tend to emphasize and highlight the counter-culture of the time. Fanzine topics varied from politics to sex, from punk bands to horror films. Literally no subjects are off the table.

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In addition to the guides, Psychotronic regularly published an excellent fanzine. Other great movie fanzines include Sleazoid Express and Shock Cinema. You’ll hear about them regularly in later issues.

Each issue, we’ll go over the films in a new fanzine or film guide, but we’ll also review the source itself. One week may be about Sleazoid Express while another may be about Videoscope. We’ll even get into more commercial fanzines like Fangoria, the Darkside, and Rue Morgue because they’re leading the neo-fanzine movement charge. For example, Fangoria just published an issue on The Subtance in the style of a fanzine (see above).

Film Programming Schedules

Fanzines and guides weren’t the only way people learned about movies pre-internet. We also had newspapers. Growing up, I loved checking out the posters and run-times in the Post Dispatch’s movie section. Nowadays, you get all that info from a movie chain’s app.

Independent cinemas are a little different though. They’ll post a monthly programming schedule on Facebook or Twitter. Professional cinema programmers put those schedules together, so they’re usually pretty reliable. Check out a few examples above.

Letterboxd & Trakt Lists

Letterboxd and Trakt lists are also great sources for film recommendations. Generally, a real human puts a list together to be published on Letterboxd. Many lists are hyper-specific, whereas others broadly include complete film catalogues.

The film catalogues are where its at because you can filter and sort the lists based on your needs. For example, lets take Kim’s Video’s VHS catalogue found here. I can narrow the list to horror films sorted by popularity or rating, among many other options. I feel like Trakt lists are a little more fancy than Letterboxd, but both work great.

Conclusion

Algorithms suck. We all know it. Click this button if you want to break free:

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Next issue, I’ll start making specific recommendations based on the above sources. And I’ll let you know about the specific source.

My other newsletter, The Press Tour Whore, is almost ready for publication! In the broadest of terms, The Press Tour Whore will examine Hollywood news and gossip, whereas Zine Queenz will focus on film recommendations.

As always, CineVibez Magazine, our flagship newsletter, helps you set the right mood depending on your vibe-preferences. But is that enough?

I decided vibe-based film categorization is not enough. Nor are algorithms. As Cesar Catalina said, we need to question things, we need to create a dialogue. Algorithms and Vibes lack the essence of humanity; they aren’t real! They’re just marketing tools.

With all that in mind, I am happy to announce that we are publishing CineVibez Magazine’s final issue in 2024 so that something new can emerge from the ashes. That something will be CineVibez Fanzine.

CineVibez Fanzine will be your weekly source for obscure movie recommendations, new-release reviews, press tour news, Hollywood gossip, and changing trends in LaLa Land. You’re going to love it.

See you next time,

Murray

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Welcome back to CineVibez Magazine, where every movie has a vibe … even It Ends with Us (hereafter IEWU). Just don’t ask me to explain the plot. Today, we’re going back to school with new segments on cinema’s greatest books & ‘zines. We’re even going to touch upon Chimp Crazy, a new docuseries streaming on Max. But first, movies!

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Gossip Corner: It Ends with Us Ends

I saw IEWU at the Alamo Drafthouse a week or so ago. I ordered my Alamo go-to: two Modelos with lime and a side of fries. The packed audience included a lot of newbies, which is great to see (you know they’re new if they have questions about ordering food & drinks).

I’m sure you already know about this one’s premise and the depictions of domestic violence. What’s interesting, though, is that the movie shows you two different interpretations of the abuse scenes. You see one in real time depict the scene as an accident. After the abuse revelation, however, we see differently shot scenes now showing Ryle’s intent to cause harm. It is literally two different scenes.

Lily’s line about being an unreliable narrator needs to do a lot of heavy lifting to make this movie work. That way, you can assume the early scene showing the domestic violence as an accident is from Lily’s POV. It’s subsequently shown differently once Lily recognizes what’s really happening. So, one way to look at this as an attempt to show how victims blur reality to protect themselves. I won’t say this movie is a success, but it's an interesting experiment.

But what’s the vibe? The first 90 minutes is beat-for-beat a stereotypical romantic comedy. The domestic violence scenes initially look like lighthearted, poorly-landed jokes. The movie waits until the very last minute to reveal Ryle’s heel-turn. This movie is all over the place, but I consistently thought it would make a great Lifetime movie. Let’s go with Lifetime Movie vibez.

TBPH, the “behind-the-scenes” drama revealed on the press tour is more interesting than the movie. Speaking of which, 2024 has been a great year for press tours. Seriously, they are getting more attention then box office numbers post-Barbenheimer. We need a newsletter about press tours. The title “Press Tour Whores” is sitting right there! Topics could include Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Cillian Murphy, and so much more! The idea is a no brainer, especially if you include links to puppy interviews. Actually …

The Press Tour Telegraph

Hey, how about these press tours? I'm looking forward to the Saturday Night press tour. A good PR firm will have the living SNL cast members interview the actors portraying them. And is Michael Keaton is prepping for a role in The Grudge 3 on the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice press tour?

Next week, we’ll look back at the Don’t Worry Darling press tour. In the meantime, enjoy more puppies!

Movie Vibes

Let's cut to the chase. I saw a lot of movies since Issue #7.

In addition to IEWU, I saw Cuckoo and Alien Romulus at Alamo Drafthouse. Cuckoo was a pretty mediocre mad scientist horror movie with eerie, sticky vibes. Hunter Schafer takes a beating the whole runtime, which lends to the sticky vibes. The German Alps help create the eerie vibes with all the darkness and whatnot.

Sadly, Alien Romulus consists of nothing more than nostalgia vibes. Cailee Spaeny was great as always, but this movie felt like a franchise greatest hits album. The blind facehuggers sequence is the only scene that felt fresh.

I also saw a lot of movies I discovered in old fanzines I found on Internet Archive. Psychotronic Video mentioned Crawlspace, a 1986 rip-off of the H.H. Holmes story with a little nazisploitation and 80s styling thrown into the mix. The movie stars Klaus Kinski and elicits claustrophobic and paranoid vibes because that’s how Klaus Kinski makes me feel.

Finally, I’d like to recommend a film that’s more insane than Crawlspace. That film is Pin (1988). Wow, Pin is something else. The acting stinks and it's not particularly well shot, but I promise your eyes will be glued to the screen for 90 minutes. What looks like a cheesy horror flick is really a fascinating character study of a kid who's either crazy or can talk to an anatomically correct medical dummy. Expect uncomfortable, mysterious vibes. This one is a rare treat.

Radio Recs

Welcome to Recommendation Station, where I recommend things. I’ve been a fan of Holiday Sidewinder since I saw her open for the Killers and Alex Cameron pre-pandemic. Check out her Kokomo remake here. Anywho, I just saw that she’s opening for Sophie Ellis-Bextor who you may remember from Saltburn’s final scene. Both musicians are phenomenal and you should go to their live show - check here to see if they’re coming to your town.

Back to School Vibez

I love reading about movies as much as I love watching them, so naturally I'm adding a books & ‘zines segment to CineVibez Magazine. Starting with Issue #9, I'm going to review an issue of a movie fanzine, movie guide, or book along with some of the movies referenced in them. I'm very excited about this idea.

I use Stremio to watch movies, which means I don't have the “benefit” of streaming algorithms. This led me to movie guided and fanzines. I have since found some really fun hidden gems and I have no doubt I'll find more. So I gotta share these rare finds with you guys.

And finally, today's book recommendation is Warped and Faded by Lars Nielsen and his friends. It's essentially a guide for Alamo Drafthouse’s Weird Wednesday movies. Weird Wednesday movies are the best.

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TV Funhouse

I try not to talk about tv here, but I need to mention Chimp Crazy, the new docuseries on Max. In the 90s, my mom hired Connie and Chimparty to come to my brothers birthday party at our house. Kirby the chimp came and played on our swing set for a few hours. I think he ate cake too. Anyway, this new doc is about Connie and Chimparty; it turns out that Kirby was abused and neglected - it's really sad.

Conclusion

I’m going to try to publish more often, but we'll see how successful I am. I'm pretty pumped about this fanzine idea - maybe that will motivate me. Until next time, happy watching!

Murray

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Are Airpods Bad for Your Ears?

I had all these ideas percolating in my brain for Issue #7. I even titled this issue CineVibeX Magazine Issue #7 for a bit after watching MaXXXine. But, I dunno, sometimes four months pass and you don’t publish a single issue and you suddenly realize you just need to get something out there to get the rhythm back and to avoid losing every subscriber. So, welcome to CineVibez Magazine Issue #7, the aimless issue!

A lot has happened in 3-4 months. I turned 40 and now I need to reference my Letterboxd diary to remember what I’ve watched. It’s like I just woke up with memory loss. And I think I’m losing my hearing; these airpods are dangerous. I practice law from time-to-time when I’m not working my full-time job as a film critic. Maybe we could do a class action suit. Please let me know in the comments if you’re also suffering from hearing loss caused by airpods.

Anyway, I’m exaggerating the time between Issues 6 and 7; it was only like 2 months. Calm down.

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Catch-Up on Classics

My 40th year on this planet started with a movie people constantly recommend to me: Sorcerer. And yeah, everyone was right. It’s a fantastic movie and maybe even a masterpiece.

Sorcerer is a fitting start to my life over the hill because it marks a shift in my film-going journey comparable to its own journey. You see, I swore off Star Wars, DC and Marvel last year and got back in-touch with my true moving going self. Now, thank the maker (Star Wars reference), I’m watching classics like Devil Fetus and Ghost Nursing. I never would’ve found those movies if the Disney marketing machine still had my brain’s full attention. And, similarly, the world missed Sorcerer because Star Wars overshadowed it and every other movie released in 1977. Star Wars came out a month after Sorcerer so it never really had a chance to gain an audience.

As a somewhat symbolic gesture, I finally watched Sorcerer a few days after my birthday and wow what a picture. You don’t need magic wands when you’ve got Roy Schneider in a jungle driving trucks full of dynamite. The film’s tense and exotic vibe stays with you from beginning to end. And, most importantly, I’m happy that I am now one of the annoying guys who constantly recommends Sorcerer.

And guys, that’s not my only “classics first-watch” this month. I also watched Ms. 45, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Come and See, and The Long Goodbye. The first three are perfect watches for those days where you’re feeling hopeless and like the world is just a hot plate spinning in a microwave of death. But Long Goodbye is a totally different vibe! It’s cool, it’s fun, and you get a great performance out of Elliot Gould. He’s a PI who has to solve his friend’s wife’s murder before they pin it on him. He’s also looking for his cat. Gould seems to take acting notes from the cat as he works his way through the plot with a cool, chill demeanor. A similarly great Elliot Gould movie is The Silent Partner - you get Christopher Plummer in a Santa suit AND drag. What more could you ask for?

Catch-Up on Trash

Sure I love artistic expression and the like, but I also love trash. I wish The Bear season 3’s writers’ room loved trash as much as I do. If they did, they would’ve realized the smell of their farts was just that - the smell of their farts. How far did the plot progress in season 3? Ayo received a contract and pondered whether she should sign. Carmi thought about asking his ex-girlfriend out again. That’s it. That’s all that happened. The other 5 hours was just experimental cinematography. The Bear season 3 highlights why I love movies more than television. When you’re watching a movie, everything in the scene matters - intentional or not. When you’re watching tv, the show runner may squeeze in an additional season to get more advertisers.

A Pirate’s Life for Me

Anyway, I watch a lot of trash. My favorite trash movies this summer has to be The Muthers. The movie stars Jean Bell, a St. Louis native who makes stunt work look effortless. She leads a group of sexy pirates who have to free her sister from an outdoor South American prison. It’s a well-written, fun adventure that maintains a fun flow throughout. Some of the one-liners were just fantastic. I think I yelled “YES!” and fist-pumped when Jayne Kennedy shot a can of beans and said “dinner is served.” And for what it is, it’s really not that sleazy. Give it a watch if you’re seeking adventurous, fun, and sincere vibes.

Creature Features

Another great piece of trash is Mako: The Jaws of Death. Richard Jaeckel gave his serial killing shark lover some much needed heart and soul. It’s his eyes - those eyes did 90% of the acting. Expect grimy, hot, sticky sleaze with a dash of heart. BTW - those sharks were real!

1987’s Ozploitation film, Dark Age, is another dirty little piece of trash I love if you prefer your creatures on land. This is a B-movie with a capital B, but everyone involved is fully aware. If you’re seeking silly, down-under vibes, this one is hard to beat.

To close out our Creature Feature segment, let’s talk the Piranha Collection. Horrible movies. Not worth your time.

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Catch-Up on the Theatrical Experience

Let’s close out CineVibez Magazine Issue #7 with a quick vibe-dive on new releases. I saw Sasquatch Sunset, The Fall Guy, Furiosa, The First Omen, the Bikeriders, MaXXXine, Kinds of Kindness, In a Violent Nature, The Exorcism, Good One, and Longlegs since Issue #6.

Sasquatch Sunset quietly came and went without much fanfare, but it was a wild movie that had a lot of heart. It depicted the lives of a pod of sasquatches living their lives, including moments of intense emotional drama. I cried three times during this movie and it’s hard to watch at times. There’s a particular scene in the river that I’m getting choked up about as I type this. Sasquatch Sunset is not just a punchline to a joke. It’s a beautiful movie that tells you more about the human condition than The Marvels or The Acolyte. Expect serene, peaceful vibes with moments that remind you of the harsh, unfair and unexpected violence one is bound to encounter in nature. Surprisingly, In a Violent Nature and Good One strike similar vibes. All three depict nature as a peaceful sanctuary … until it isn’t.

The Fall Guy and the Bikeriders harken to days of old where these types of movies were more common. The Fall Guy is basically just a romcom and love letter to action films. It’s fun but not much more than that. The Bikeriders, however, is a real treat. I haven’t confirmed, but Jodie Comer apparently nails Kathy’s voice. Watch either flick if you’re seeking comforting vibes.

Everyone is talking about Furiosa and Kinds of Kindness (two great movies), so let’s instead focus on Satan. 2024 is the Devil’s Year, amiright? Think about it - you got The First Omen, Late Night with the Devil, MaXXXine, The Exorcism, Immaculate and Longlegs releasing the first half of 2024. I found Immaculate a little boring; I don’t know if Sidney Sweeney has the chops to maintain a strong Hollywood career. She doesn’t excite me when she’s onscreen. And The Exorcism is a real snooze. I think we’ve talked about Late Night with the Devil and The First Omen, so I’m going to focus on MaXXXine and Longlegs.

MaXXXine (2024) closes out Ti West’s X trilogy with a bang, a few stabs, and some squishing. It’s a fun movie that celebrates 80s decadence in the form of a b-movie De Palma giallo. I think West succeeded in weaving the three subgenres, but he failed to remove the shiny digital look that comes with most modern films. I didn’t feel it in X or Pearl, so I’m not sure where he went wrong here. Part of the movie is set in a video store, and the scrambled fuzzy VHS look is begging to be used. But the frequent and overt nods to Hollywood’s past let me look past the film’s visual flaws. I mean come on, a quarter of this movie is filmed at the Bates Motel. Expect campy, over-the-top gory vibes.

Speaking of Bates Motel, the final movie today is Oz Perkins’ Longlegs starring Maika Monroe, Nicholas Cage, and Alicia Witt. Perkins merges a 90s David Fincher aesthetic with the supernatural to create a really eerie, uncomfortable film. You know that feeling where something feels off? Like just before bed, you have a sudden urge to check behind the shower curtain or under the bed? That’s the superficial Longlegs vibe.

On a deeper level, Longlegs is a lot of fun! In an interview, Perkins said one of his goals was to point out the absurdity and silliness of serial killer movies. He wanted to make a serial killer who is similar to those in real life - just a really gross loser whose singular life goal is to get off. The vibes get much sillier when you see the film through that lens. Either way, it’s a great movie that is worth your time.

What’s even more exciting is that you get to see a rare Nic Cage performance where his unhinged behavior is controlled (or as controlled as a Nic Cage performance can be). He doesn’t improvise anywhere. Every line he uttered came from the script. Longlegs should stand right next to Pig in this - the most recent Cage Renaissance.

While Cage is getting all the attention, I’d be remiss to ignore Alicia Witt’s performance. She was so creepy!

The Ending

You’re all caught up. Maybe you’ll get Issue #8 in 2024.

I turned 40 today and the onslaught of emails from corporations in possession of my personally identifiable information started early. Crumbl Cookie got in first with a free cookie offer last week. Sports Clips sent me a coupon for a free haircut this month around the same time. But my fave was 5% off from Target - literally just a discount on taxes.

Anywho, I thought it could be fun to discuss any Hollywood/movie themed corporate birthday wishes I receive.

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Birthday Good Boys of Hollywood

As a AAA24 member, I get to pick a gift from a curated list of items in the gift shop. I got the Zola score on vinyl last year - the cover had cool original artwork and I love the soundtrack’s dreamlike vibes. This year, I got to choose from the following items:

I went with the Euphoria Fashion coffee table book, mostly because it will look cool on my coffee table. I also just read an interesting article on Zendaya’s fashion assistant, so Gen Z Hollywood' fashion is at the forefront of my mind. I suspect the pages are oozing with vibe juice.

Some of you may be wondering what AAA24 is. Well, it’s A24’s fanclub … yes a fan club for a film studio. It’s typical to see fan clubs for corporations this far down the late-stage capitalism timeline. For 60 bucks, you get monthly-ish magazines on topics related to recent A24 releases. They’re usually curated by actors and filmmakers. You also get access to special features on the A24 app - its akin to the DVD extras for A24 movies. The app includes some BTS footage of Greta filming Ladybird, Mia Goth in the makeup chair for Pearl, etc. Look, I hate giving my money to corporate entities, especially when that money simply lines the fat cats’ pockets. But, AAA24 is pretty fun.

Comics are indirectly related to the movie industry, right? Well, Midtown Comics in Times Square offered me 25% off any item in store. I just need to book a flight to New York by 3:00pm today.

I also got $4.00 off a ticket from Fandango. Weird choice on the dollar amount. Just give me a free matinee ticket for a dollar more, guys.

I started this idea before checking how many birthday emails I received. Unfortunately, that’s everything, so let’s talk about who DIDN’T send me a birthday gift … the theater chains.

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Birthday Bad Boys of Hollywood

As a Top Brass Season Pass holder, I expected more from Alamo Drafthouse. Maybe a free dessert or cocktail? Something from the merch corner? Instead, I got the sound of crickets. Do better, Alamo.

I have entry level memberships to AMC and Marcus Theaters. I’d expect a free popcorn at the very least. In fact, I’m pretty sure AMC used to do that. I know Wehrenberg Theaters, the greatest theater chain of all time, did before their closure brought Greg Marcus the assclown to my town. I just can’t remember what it was. Movies and birthdays go together like milk and cookies so birthday surprises seem like a no-brainer.

It’s only 12:50pm here, so the corporations listed above have a chance to redeem themselves. I’ll edit in/out anyone who does so. You know who probably won’t redeem himself? That assclown Greg Marcus. I heard he gives everyone a blanket with his face on it for their bdays. Take a look:

Here’s some more photos of Greg Marcus being a jackass. Pay close attention to the full frontal crotch photo where Greg is sitting down:

Birthday Picks

Every year, I watch at least one movie on my birthday. I haven’t selected my pick yet, but we can talk about what I watched this weekend.

First, I saw The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) on Friday. I enjoyed this average to slightly above average war movie. It had a pretty tight premise, although I felt the story wander at times. Alan Ritchson stood out among the other cast members. There was something very satisfying about the way he sliced and diced his way through Nazis. Cavill’s comedic efforts worked well here, too. My favorite scenes were between those two guys. Expect fast-paced, fun, lighthearted vibes. My biggest complaint is that Rory Kinnear reminded me more of Rob Ford than Winston Churchill. I love Rory Kinnear, but I don’t think he was used well. It’s worth a watch, even for Guy Ritchie haters.

Next, I saw The Girl in the Basement (2020), starring Judd Nelson and Stefanie Scott. I cannot recommend this movie in good conscience. This movie is about a girl who’s father locks her in a basement and makes her his sex slave. Yet, it lacks any depth. There’s really nothing there other than surface level, underdeveloped characters and a poorly written script. That being said, Stefanie Scott did an excellent job portraying the abused daughter. It’s a shame the rest of the cast and crew didn’t support her efforts. Skip this movie, but keep an eye out for Stefanie Scott.

I finally got around to seeing Abigail (2024). This movie was a fine heist/kidnapping film that takes a major genre shift in the third act. At this point, you probably know that the kidnapped girl is secretly a vampire. The third act consists of this discovery and its immediate consequences. I know how the studio could have improved this film: DON’T TELL US THE GIRL IS A VAMPIRE IN THE TRAILER! I’m going to pledge to all of you a commitment to stop watching movie trailers. They spoil too much.

Finally, I saw The Teachers’ Lounge (2023) on Friday. The acting was phenomenal. Leonie Benesch gave a really impressive, nuanced performance. I want to watch again just to watch her facial expressions and body language. This movie is about how quickly a narrative can spiral out of control. I highly recommend it.

Conclusion

In summary, I still need to pick my birthday movie for today (it’s my 40th). Feel free to make recommendations in the comment section, but not This is 40. And as a birthday gift to me, forward this email to a movie loving friend who may want to subscribe (for free!).

Happy Watching!

Murray

2024’s new release lineup is really just starting to heat up, although that hasn’t stopped me from CineVibin’ my way through Quarter 1, 2024. And boy, oh boy, what an adventure it has been. I saw some good movies and some bad ones. Michael Crichton’s Looker (1981) stood out the most because it accurately predicted last summer’s SAG/WGA strikes. Let’s start there.

Did Michael Crichton know of the existential threat artificial intelligence would bring to SAG-AFTRA and WGA in the summer of 2023 or have we been destined to replace ourselves from the beginning? Time travel isn’t real, so its the latter.

In Looker, models and commercial actors keep scheduling appointments with our protagonist, a sleazy plastic surgeon played by Albert Finney. Each girl comes equipped with very specific body measurements they want. One needed 0.03 mm shaved off the tip of her nose. Another needed her left eye raised 1.23 mm and right eye raised 1.24 mm. I don’t remember if these specific measurements were referenced, but you guys get the idea. These ladies had very specific “goals” to hit.

It doesn’t take long for the bodies to start stacking up. All but one of the models died under mysterious circumstances, and our 55 year-old, out of shape, plastic surgeon decides he needs to keep that last remaining model nearby. But how could a schlubby old surgeon convince this super model to stay at his place? It’s simple - just invite her over for sex … the magic of cinema!

It turns out that Hollywood hired tech companies to fine tune shows and commercials in a way to persuade and manipulate consumers. This involves making actors get plastic surgery to fit the needs of the commercials. If the actors fail after “enhancements,” they go in this thing called the Looker Machine. The Looker Machine uploads your digital likeness to be used in future programming. The actors get a one-time $800 fee. The movie’s overarching conflict arises out of some of the Looker Machine’s unwanted side-effects.

This is a cheesy sci-fi movie, but it explores bodily autonomy, fair wages, and digital privacy/rights. There’s really no difference between this film’s villain and Disney and Apple.

Looker is also a well-made film. The first shot ever of Arnold’s Terminator is ripped directly from a gorgeous shot of Susan Dey being lowered into the Looker Machine. And you know what? Crichton did it better. If that doesn’t convince you to see this movie, check out Albert Finney’s cool shades.

Looker has cool, slick vibes. The film opens with colorful pink bedrooms with lingerie clad models, beach-side rendezvouses, and the rich and famous rubbing elbows at art galleries. As the nefarious plot is revealed, the film gets colder and more futuristic. Like Alien and Terminator, our characters end up in a dark room full of metal lit only by the red glare of exit signs. I’d file this one under “cool, slick, scifi vibes.”

Another great movie that was ahead of its time is Black Sunday (1977). Bruce Dern (who was just on Apple+’s Palm Royale this week) is a war vet who goes off the deep end, joins an international terrorist group, and hijacks the Goodyear Blimp at the Super Bowl. Robert Shaw plays an Israeli spy who tries to thwart the terrorist plot. It’s a lot of fun to listen to Shaw complain about dumb American traditions.

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And speaking of shitty tech people, I watched The Social Network (2010) a few days ago. It is so close to being a masterpiece, but Rashida Jones’ second year associate breaks up the no-hitter. I have always found her character somewhat unnecessary; but the character is also an idiot. She said she “specializes in voir dire.” That’s like a doctor saying he specializes in wearing scrubs. A dear friend recently mentioned that he didn’t like Jones’ final line, “You’re not an asshole, Mark. You’re just trying so hard to be.” From anyone else, that line could be a good snarky insult. But, Jones delivered it with empathy, giving Zuck an out. That twerp doesn’t deserve an out.

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I also watched Omen 1-3 in one day so I could see this new prequel (which I haven’t seen yet). The movies are fine, but nothing really exciting. Honestly, I’m surprised by the films’ longevity. The final battle with the Nazarene in Omen 3 was funny, though. The Omen movies generate pretty chill vibes. The murders are mostly accidents or bird-related. It’s mostly just a lot of ominous shots with spooky music. Great for a rainy day.

New Release Vibes:

Love Lies Bleeding (2024): LLB is my favorite movie of 2024 so far, but I’m always a fan of Kristen Stewart genre movies. It has dark, neo-noir vibes wrapped in a queer love story. I saw a lot of people online call it a “vibes movie.” I think that means there are elements of surrealism in the film. I guess gen-z needs its own vocabulary. But the surreal ending will put a big smile on your face.

Dune, Part 2 (2024): I didn’t know about that heel turn, so Dune 2 was a really fun surprise. Beautifully shot with epic, desert scenes, but the core of the film gives off raw, yet manipulative, power-hungry vibes.

Civil War (2024): Civil War was a serious, gritty, movie that gave me Call of Duty vibes. I watched with a friend who was riveted by the film’s immersive feel. To me - the third act was essentially just a multiplayer session of COD, but maybe less desensitized people will have a different experience. The story also felt a little hollow, but I really struggled to connect to it.

Ricky Stanicky (2024): Ricky Stanicky reminded me of a 90s Farrelly Brothers movie. I laughed out loud dozens of times. Great premise too. This movie is 100% hijinks vibes.

The Beekeeper (2024): Dramatic, manly, no-nonsense vibes with a touch of sensitivity. The Beekeeper is bad, but its also a lot of fun. The story is totally nonsensical and full of annoying characters. Most of the villains are crypto-tech bros. I’m sure the writer thought Jason Statham killing tech bros would be a sure winner, but we still have to spend time with the tech bros.

Argyle (2024): I couldn’t finish it. Embarrassingly bad CGI. Lazy script. Apple Film Studios (or whatever its called) absolutely sucks. Every movie looks so digital; almost like the whole thing is fake CGI. And frankly, I wouldn’t doubt it if it was. I’ve said it before - Jon Hamm and Jen Aniston did not film a single scene together in The Morning Show. Don’t give Apple money to see this.

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Housekeeping:

Expect monthly issues of CineVibez going forward. I’m going to roll the other newsletters into CineVibez and spend more time on each issue. I have some fun new ideas for next issue, so keep your eyes peeled on your inbox!

The moment you’ve all been waiting for is here … have a seat and get comfortable. It’s time to announce the winners of the second annual Archies! You may have noticed the drawing of a personified St. Louis Arch above this paragraph. That’s Archie! Like most newsletters, I realized CineVibez needed a mascot to cheer on the ever-changing world of movie vibes.

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And of course, you can’t have a proper mascot without a foil. Meet Archie’s arch nemesis, Woofy - the anti-arch ranger dog:

I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of Archie and Woofy in the future - those rascals. Anywho, let’s get on with it. Here are the winners of the 2023 Archie Awards:

Best Voice/Dialect in a Movie: Julianne Moore in May December

• This was a no-brainer. I’ll probably have hot dogs for lunch.

Best Action Sequence: The Rue Foyatier Sequence in John Wick 4

• What a wonderful scene. The filmmakers made full use of Keanu’s lanky body by throwing him down a flight of stairs again and again. This homage to Buster Keaton blew away the competition.

Best Score as a Character: Marcelos Zarvos for May December

• This was really just between May December and Maestro. The piano notes following the revelation about the quantity of hot dogs left for the party clinched it for Zarvos.

Best Meta Performance: Natalie Portman in May December

• If her peers won’t recognize Natalie Portman’s greatest achievement, then the Archies will. Natalie plays an actress learning to play a character played by an actress who is basing the character on a real person.

Best Performing Genre: R-Rated Comedy

• Look, R-Rated comedies didn’t do well at the box office, but I saw some well-crafted comedies that were slightly elevated above the norm. Most specifically, I’m talking about No Hard Feelings. I thought it did for R-Rated Comedies what Ari Aster did for horror. Unfortunately, most people can’t get past “J-Law naked” to see the quality of this film.

Best Original Concept: The Zone of Interest.

• The Zone of Interest was a huge risk. It’s a film about reactions (or lack thereof) to something that is happening offscreen. It’s an interesting idea that works exceptionally well here. The result is gut-wrenching and rage-inducing, but that simply means the film did its job.

Best Marketing: Saltburn Bathtub Cup from Alamo Drafthouse

• I ordered a White Russian in my cup.

Best Off-Screen Performance: The Colonel from Priscilla

• This award should go to Tom Hanks for having the decency to reprise one of his worst performances off-screen only.

Best Low-Budget Film (under 25 million): Godzilla Minus One

• The film is a masterpiece. Do we even need to make another blockbuster creature feature?

Best Animal: Snoop in Anatomy of a Fall

• Has your dog ever realistically faked Benadryl poisoning? Honorable mention goes to Snoopy in Maestro.

Best Practical Effects: Oppenheimer

• Oppenheimer isn’t your typical practical effects movie, nor is it your typical Christopher Nolan movie. However, nobody else recreated a nuclear explosion without CGI.

Best Atmosphere Vibez: May December

• I laughed, I cried, I felt anger, disgust, sadness, melancholy - you name it. May December is a rollercoaster of emotions. Despite the mixed bag of feelings, it carried a distinct tone and vibe throughout the film.

Congratulations to the winners! I’m seeing Dune: Part II tonight at Alamo Drafthouse. I’ll report back on the piri piri sauce.

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Today, I am proud to announce the nominees for the 2024 Archies! I saw Anatomy of a Fall last week, which allows me to finish nominations and close the book on 2023. I’ll probably milk this a few more weeks and announce the winners a little before the Oscars. Anywho, here are your nominees:

Best Voice/Dialect in a Movie:

• Shailene Woodley in Ferrari

• Julianne Moore in May December

• Chris Pratt in Super Mario

• Robert Pattinson in The Boy and the Heron

• Mia Goth in Infinity Pool

Best Action Sequence:

• The Rue Foyatier Sequence in John Wick 4

• The Arc de Triomphe car chase in John Wick 4

• Odo Island in Godzilla Minus One

• The Train in Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part I

• The Battle of Waterloo in Napoleon

Best Score as a Character:

• Marcelos Zarvos for May December

• Naoki Sato for Godzilla Minus One

• Joby Talbot for Wonka

• Jerskin Fendrix for Poor Things

• Leonard Bernstein (posthumously) for Maestro

Best Meta Performance:

• Natalie Portman in May December

• Jason Schwartzman in Asteroid City

• Scarlett Johannsson in Asteroid City

• Jeff Goldblum in Asteroid City

• Zac Efron in The Iron Claw

Best Performing Genre:

• Horror

• R-Rated Comedy

• Melodrama

• Animation

• Action-Comedy

Best Original Concept:

• The Zone of Interest

• Asteroid City

• The Creator

• Talk to Me

• Dream Scenario

Best Marketing:

• Barbenheimer

• Saltburn Bathtub Cup from Alamo Drafthouse

• Frisbee promotional gift for Strays Advance Screening (for VIPs only - I stole one)

• Absence of singing in the Wonka trailer

• The Iron Claw Kevin Von Erich action figure sold by A24

Best Off-Screen Performance:

• The Colonel from Priscilla

• Margot and Ryan on the Barbie press tour

• Leonard Bernstein’s children in the Maestro press tour

• Bradley Cooper interview where he said he levitated and Leonard entered his body during Maestro’s production

• All of us for banding together to mock Zaz during the strike

Best Low-Budget Film (under 25 million):

• Godzilla Minus One

• Evil Dead Rise

• Talk to Me

• May December

• The Iron Claw

Best Animal:

• Snoop in Anatomy of a Fall

• The frankenpets in Poor Things

• Godzilla

• Bug from Strays

• Mr. Nobody’s dog, the “faithful accomplice” from John Wick 4

Best Practical Effects:

• Oppenheimer

• Godzilla Minus One

• Evil Dead Rise

• When Evil Lurks

• Suitable Flesh

Best Atmosphere Vibez:

• Godzilla Minus One

• Poor Things

• May December

• Maestro

• Infinity Pool

Find your way back to your seat because the show is about to begin! In Part I, we’re announcing this year’s categories. To distinguish ourselves from other award ceremonies, we’re going to focus on fresh, modern categories that you won’t find anywhere else. So without further adieu, welcome to Part I of CineVibez HQ Presents: The Second Annual Archie Awards: The CATEGORIES.

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Best Fake Voice/Dialect:

Best Action Sequence:

Best Score as a Character:

Best Meta Performance:

Best Genre:

Best Original Concept:

Best Marketing:

Best Off-Screen Performance:

Best Low-Budget Film (under 25 million):

Best Practical Effects:

Best Atmosphere:

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There you have it. The new Archie Award categories reflect what’s important to the staff at CineVibez HQ, including low-budget films, practical effects, originality, genre films, and zany choices by actors. I released the categories on social media, but I forgot to include Best Practical Effects. Oops.

Anyway, feel free to write your guesses in the comments section below. Look out for Part 2: The Nominations later this week.

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